Satire indeed...
Hillary Clinton Is a Conservative Republican
By
Laurence M. Vance
March 24, 2015
Although she is no longer first lady, a U.S. senator from New York, or Secretary of State, and has not officially announced her candidacy to be the Democratic nominee for president, Hillary Clinton can’t seem to stay out of the news. Conservatives love to hate Hillary almost as much as they love to hate Obama.
And rightly so.
Most lately it has come out that she used a private server for all of her e-mails when she was President Obama’s secretary of state from 2009 to 2013. At the very least, she concealed government documents from the very government she worked for and failed to secure classified documents in a government-approved manner.
Perhaps even Bush would have been criticized by Republicans if he had been this arrogant and careless. Perhaps. Okay, probably not.
But when it comes to serious issues about the nature of government and its role in business, the market, education, health care, and society, certainly there are notable differences between Hillary Clinton and conservative Republicans?
I’m afraid it’s just not so. In fact, someone has to say it so I will say it: Hillary Clinton is a conservative Republican.
No, I haven’t lost my mind. No, I am not drunk. And no, I haven’t partaken of the
drugs that I have argued should be legalized.
There is no real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican. Consider just these ten things.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on foreign policy? Both the support the United States imposing sanctions on other countries, a form of economic warfare. Both support the United States’ incessant meddling in the affairs of other countries. Both support an interventionist foreign policy. Both think the United States should police the world.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on the welfare state? Both think Social Security should be “saved” so that future generations of the elderly can be supported by the young. Both support the government providing unemployment benefits so that those who work can support those who don’t. Both support WIC, TANF, federal job training programs, food stamps, and housing vouchers.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on health care? Both support socialized medicine—Medicare and Medicaid—for the aged and the poor. Both feel that it is the job of government to ensure that no one is denied insurance because of a preexisting condition. Both feel that is the job of government to make health care more affordable. Both support the National Institutes of Health giving grants for medical research. Both favor federal HIV/AIDS-prevention initiatives. Both think that the government should regulate medical devices, medical schools, physicians, drugs, and hospitals. Both oppose genuine medical freedom, including the right to sell one’s organs. Oh, but Republicans oppose Obamacare. Sure, but only because it is a Democratic program. When Bush was the president and they controlled the Congress they supported Bushcare, the Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement, and Modernization Act of 2003.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on foreign aid? Both support taking billions of dollars from American taxpayers and giving it to the bloated, corrupt governments of other countries. Both support more foreign aid for Israel than for any other country. Both think it is the job of the United States to provide disaster relief in other countries after an earthquake or typhoon. Both have no problem with the United States bribing foreign governments with cash and military equipment to get them to obey U.S. dictates.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on education? Both think that all children should recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Both support the federal student loan program, Pell Grants, the National School Lunch Program, Head Start, and the federal Department of Education. Both believe that some Americans should pay to educate the children of other Americans. Oh, but conservative Republicans support educational vouchers and Clinton opposes them. And you think their support of vouchers is a good thing?
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on victimless crimes? Both support anti-discrimination laws. Both support laws against gambling, drug use, prostitution, and insider trading.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on the drug war? Both oppose the legalization of marijuana for both medical and recreational use. Both want to continue to fund the DEA. Both think it is the duty of government to lock people in cages for possessing substances the government doesn’t approve of.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on the military? Both support the empire of U.S. troops and bases that encircles the globe. Both would insist that U.S. troops bombing, invading, and occupying other countries are defending our freedom. Both support the continued stationing of U.S. troops in Germany, Italy, and Japan even though World War II ended 70 years ago. Both believe that the U.S. Navy is a global force for good instead of evil. Both support drone strikes even if they do cause a little “collateral damage.” Oh, but conservative Republicans want to increase the defense budget. And you think that is a good thing? Ok, I’ll grant you that there might be a slight difference between Hillary Clinton and conservative Republicans on the military–she is not as bad as they are.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on taxes? Both support refundable tax credits like the earned income credit that allow some Americans to receive tax refunds when they paid no taxes to begin with. Both believe that tax reform should be revenue neutral. Both want tax loopholes that allow some Americans to keep more of their money eliminated. Both support making “the rich” pay their fair share via a progressive tax system. Both believe that the government is entitled to a portion of every American’s income.
Is there any real difference between Hillary Clinton and a conservative Republican on the national security state? Both support the CIA, FBI, FISA, DIA, TSA, and NSA. Both support government spying and covert activities. Both support the Patriot Act. Both support the Department of Homeland Security even though the United States already has a Department of Defense.
The choice is clear for 2016. Vote for a conservative Republican. Vote for Hillary Clinton.
