A tough decision (GF problems)

[GeaR_and_SauCe]

FIRST, let me say that you guys all say exactly what I'm thinking. The only thing you have to understand is that I'm not thinking with my dick when I think about keeping her. Its the point that she was so cool and we were so compatible for the time before that happened. Also, I didn't put my hands on her to hurt her, I wanted her to hate me that way I don't have to make this decision, its over. But, as I'm learning from experience and friends, sluts like to get beat up. Anyway, it got even deeper last night. I told her I wanted to know nothing but the whole truth and that if she continued to tell me her sugared up version of the story that its all over. Here what I then found out:

-She went out with this dude the first night she met him and went back to his house for sex that very night.

-The Wednesday before the Thurs that I was leaving to go there, she didn't answer her phone because she was at his house fucking him again. It wasn't because her friend had her phone....thats what made me really mad.

Anyway, she finally came clean and I feel better that she loves me and is finally being honest but really the shit I found out I was probably better off mentally not knowing.

You guy are right and I think the exact same way, its just that everytime I make attempt to let this girl go, she hangs on for dear life, literally. If I'm there she will jump on me and cry and hold on so that I have to throw her off if I want to leave. You have to understand why its a tough decision. Let me explain it like this:

Good Things:
-She realizes that she really does love me, even if its too late
-She's hot and good in bed (obviously, shes not a begginer)
-We share the same interest and have fun together when we actually are together
-She moved home for me and still pays rent in Miami for a place she doesn't even live in
-I may not have been fully in love with her before this happened, but I knew I could love her and respected her enough not to cheat on her. I had my chances and made my decisions
-She realizes she made a mistake and regrets it fully
-She has even forced me to accept

Bad things:
-She fucked another dude at least twice, once the day before I got there, that same day she refused to answer her phone
-She lied about it for over a month now
-The way I see it, shes a natural born slut. She says I made her realize that she had no respect for herself, her safety, or for the people around her and that she feels like a real peice of shit now. Somehow this whole thing has seriously degraded her. How am I supposed to turn a hoe into a housewife, its impossible. She says she realizes but she doesnt understand that if I get past this and things get boring 4 months from now, her nature is going to tell her to do it again. RIGHT?? you have to agree .....

Its funny how I could think so low of her but still want to be with her. In all honesty I feel like a pussy because I'm having trouble getting past this and it almost makes me feel like shes playing me perfectly to get what she wants. I think that if she really cared about my emotional well being that she would have left a couple weeks ago and let me forget about it.

Another issue comes into play here and I know its a big deal but she swears it has nothing to do with anything; money. I think shes a user. I'm the type of guy to not care about money, I don't have the best job but I get buy. I drive a 99 clk 430 benz with chrome rims and I always have money in my pockets but I still live with my parents. I came down to south beach all the time to see her. I'm almost positive money has to play a part in this but she swears no, she used to pay for shit all the time before she ever cheated on me and now she keeps handing me money that she feels she owes me and won't accept a dime from me. But then I think about it and she does owe me everything. It cost me $540 to save her from hurrican francis and even more for me to go back and forth there. All I did was give and all she did was take. Then, on top of it, I know the last guy she was having sex with before me was the guy that owned the house she stayed at down the shore who was 12 years older than her and didn't make her pay rent once their fling started. It hits me all at once and I don't want to believe it, but she is a selfish, using slut, who uses everything, even her pussy to get what she wants regardless of how her actions affect anyone else. Thanks for the advice, I want to go back to the days when I flipp-flopped and served hoes with the fat dick always screamin that bitches aint shit. You gotta fuck em and leave em and treat em like you don't need em because if you are a nice guy you will get shit on over and over again. Its weird how it works but I think if I treated her with less respect she would have never done it....who knows?

 

[scientificTheGreat]

hmmm

you have done some good with the goods and bads.


now you must realize that the bad outweighs they good by a tremendous amount and move on

i may be wrong but by your writing it seems like your still contemplating sticking around and that just makes me sick

bro trust me once a cheater always...i know thats said all the time but its so true bro...so true....if you dont listen to anything else just know that

you dont want to hurt more and thats what she will do to you

DROP HER NOW

makes me sick just thinking about you going back to her even though i dont really know you

i know fucking sluts like that

sick sick sick

no self respect for themselves or respect for anyone else

all they care about is themselves and they could care less how you feel

get away nowww!@!

 

[Helterskelter]

I grab her phone, slam it shut

I tell her not to give out her number like a whore.

I lose it, screaming at her to get off the phone before I stuff it up her ass.

I grab the phone, turn it off and slam it in her purse.

I flip out screaming at her "Fuck you, you think I'm fuckin stupid you fuckin cunt, I come all the way down here to see you and you're on the phone with some guy, I'll fuckin kill you...

When her and the roommate go to work I ransack the house and find her social security card and get the last 4 digits of her social. I go to an internet cafe and go on sprint pcs.com and change her voice mail password.

Shes laying next to me in bed when I decide out of no where to check her messages.

I flip out and grab her by the neck, I show her the text message and she breaks into tears to confess everything. I tell her to call the guy right now on speaker phone and tell him to never call her again and that he is going to get fucked up if I get back to south beach.

she never puts him on speaker. I flip out

I never hit a girl before in my life but I grab her by her hair and threw her the fuck out of my car.

YOU sound like a raging lunatic. If you're like this with every girl you have problems. If she is the only one that makes you this way then stay away from her.

Agreed, lay off the fucking Fina you psychopath.

 

[AlphaWolf]

Agreed, lay off the fucking Fina you psychopath.

LOL. Man my girlfriend at the time who is now an ex (add another one to the list of women I've severally damanged mentally), anyway I got pissed one night and the following things happened;

1. I got a restraining order against me from the owner of a local liquor store.

2. Fucking up this kids car

3. Flipped out so badly on my at the time girlfriend that I grabbed her by the throat, but managed to divert my anger and I took a right hook at a mailbox destroying it and slicing my knuckles wide open and yelling so loud 3 cop cars showed up and I got tackled to the ground by 5 cops, smashed onto the hood of a cop car, put in handcuffs, nearly maced, and thrown into the back of a cop car.

The cops told my girlfriend to grab all her stuff from my house and to leave immediately so they could let me out of the cop car since I was still freaking out but this time at the cops and they were afraid I might try to attack her.

Of course I was released since the cops didn't want to deal with me anymore and was charged with disturbing the peace, drunk and disorderly and of course somehow domestic violence was thrown on there.

My girlfriend actually did come back to my house that night and slept there, but damn was she freaked out, cautiously moved around me for the remainder of the night.

Moral of the story, women can seriously piss you off sometimes, just gotta control your anger enough not to hit them or hurt them seriously.

Oh, and the reason I flipped out was because her ex came up and hugged her...yea thats right I'm a fucking lunatic

 

[GeaR_and_SauCe]

I grew at the jersey shore and also live in philly now. If your not old enough to know your not going to meet you wife there you have some growing up to do. 95% of the bar girls are looking to just get laid.

Bro, you couldn't have hit the nail on the head any cleaner. Girls around here are all the same, selfish sluts with a princess attitude. Its funny because the reason I guessed so well that she was fooling around was because I've been on the otherside before. I never cheated on a girl but I have been with girls with boyfriends. Lots of them. And its not something I try to do, it just happens. The reason I am so affected by this is because after dealing with a few sneaky bitches I told myself flat out this part march actually, that I never want a girlfriend because you can't trust these bitches, I never wanted to be that guy. Also, I told her the very night we decided to go steady that I would never ever have a girl that hooksup with other guys. Here I am eating my words comptemplating staying with a girl that fucks other guys.

Really, I don't think its going to work out but 1. I really likED her. 2. I am extremely lazy and am not one of those guys who likes the chase. <===thats probably why I end up with these types of girls. I have a tendency to sit back and take the nicest piece that comes my way. BTW, just to let you know I turned 21 in June and she turned 21 in July. We are the same age and if I didn't go to private school we would have went to the same school and graduated in the same class. All these things are what made me like her, but there is that one single thing that she could do to ruin it and she did. Nothing else could ever affect our relationship this much.

 

[GeaR_and_SauCe]

You guys have two things wrong by the way. I am in no way a psychopath. The only reason I got upset and crazy is because I had some good fucking reasons to. Its not like I was flipping out over nothing, my girlfriend was fucking another guy and then talking to him on the phone in front of me. I think a real psychopath would have kept quiet. Also, I never hit her. I grab her hair once and push her by the head like toward the door of my car and told her to get out. I had a grip on her hair for mabye two seconds. And in my bedroom I didn't grip her by the throat I more or less grabed her by the neck/shoulder area, like on her trap and bitched at her. Like chris rock says......I WON'T PUNCH A GIRL, BUT I'LL SHAKE A BITCH...By the way, only time in my life I've ever wanted to or did put my hands on a girl...only time. Last night when she came 100% clean to me I never wanted to hit someone, man or women so much in my life. So I knocked some shit over in her house and went out and got in my car. I called her on the phone from the car and told her its better if we talk that way because I wasn't sure if I could control myself...I did what I knew was best for the situation.

 

[Helterskelter]

Shit man, I flip out too.

Take your aggressions out in the gym or on someone who cut you off. Even shaking a girl will get you a domestic assault charge.


You sound like a tough guy in one point and the other point you sound like a emotional pissy crybaby chick. Get the fuck over it, plenty of girls out there.

 

[Joe West]

weve all been here at some point, to some degree.

get away. bro, i know girls you really click with arent easy to find. but this one fucked soe other dood the first night.

its your life. but i can tell you, lay money down, that this one is a misery machine.

its not worth it. get out there and find someone else. stay away. run away.

 

[gixxerboy]

bro just forget about her you will be better off. Look at it from this point you pretty much know you arent going to marry this chick and if you shouldnt be thinking that at 21 anyway. So why waste anymore months or time on her. If you only see her twice a month your not getting laid enough to make it even close to worth it.
Go down to old city bro get a few drinks and new piece of ass. Its not hard to down there. Trust me

 

[101Chemistry]

I only have one thing to say about this. It's not advice related to this girl, it's advice realted to you. It's advice related to you and women but to you and men as well.

In any social setting keeping a calm and poised attitude will make people respect you, and generally listen to you a lot more.

In this particular situation, you had a very easy decision to make. Do I, or do I not continue this relationship. Do I want a relationship with her, be it a serious one or plain fucking, or do I not want one. If you decide for a relationship, than you must control yourself and manipulate her. Manipulate manipulate manipulate. The fact that you got into this situation in the first place tells me that you hadn't manipulated her from the start, which you should have.

Throwing shit around the house will not score you any points, will not raise a woman's interest level (since she cheated, her interest level was low, so if you want a relationship you want to heighten her interest level), and will not make you look like a man in any situation. It's random agression.

An example of good aggression in this sort of situation is to toy with her mind, make her confess everything, make her arrive to the conclusion that not only is she a no good whore, but she also had considerably less fun and sexual-fun with the other guy, and that you are the only path to redemption, but, of course, you will now be a difficult, hard, yet wonderful path to walk upon. At this point she should be of course crying and sucking your cock my friend.

My 2 cents.

Regards.

 

[101Chemistry]

did you guys realize:

-American (a good majority of them) girls are EXCEPTIONALLY needy and emotional?

-The most overweight females on the planet?

-The most heavily medicated (for depression) females on the planet?

-Have the highest sense of "self entitlement" issues thanks to feminism?

-Are laughably shallow, materialistic, creatures with no soul.

Don't believe me? try picking up a chick today. tell her you drive a geo metro and are a substitute teacher. She'll either laugh in your face, or turn and walk. Now turn around and walk up to another girl. When the first question they all ask comes around, "what do you do for a living" tell them you are an attorney. Then the second question: what kind of car do you drive?" A: benz.

They will be all over your ass if you are guy 2. NOW, some of you can say "well duh guy 2 is driving the nice car and has a good job". YES, but guy 2 may also be a raving ASSHOLE who beats and rapes women, but THESE american women will crawl into bed with him on their first night based on his income level.

Not to mention the "princess syndrome" most american girls have. "YOU OWE ME, I deserve, I'm a victim". Its classic victim speak from the feminists. So today's american woman uses that to make you feel guilty and lead you around by the dick (like mentioned above).

I'm sure she'll find SOME WAY to make herself the victim, all the while popping zolofts like M&M's, binge drinking, and fucking half the bar. BUT YOU LOVE HER, so you'll make excuses for her, etc.

Again, by and large, American men continue to be manipulated and controlled by the women in the U.S.

You got me laughing man. 100% right. Anywhere in the world, if you're a well dressed, well spoken man you're going places. And yes, women like men with good jobs and good cars, because it means there probably are other good attributes there as well. But the U.S girls, shit, they overfuckingreact. Also, US girls will take waaay more shit from men than euro girls, mainly because they're used to needy men around them. Personally, I find picking up american girls to be slightly easier than with the europeans, but the sex gets old and I'd rather fuck women than girls. And I can't imagine what you people go through trying to have relationships with these girls.

To the guy who started this thread...really man, you're young. You need to get yourself out there, meet 2-3 women/week at least, fuck them, get to know them (I don't mean listen to them talk, I mean get to know them, get your own opinion about different women). You have a whole life ahead of you, but it's only one life. Now is the time for you to learn, so that you don't end up at 50 with either 4 failed marriages and/or different head problems that originated from your disastrous relationships with women. You don't have to see this as a bad thing, these are the years in which a man forges a strong personality. If you don't, other will, and the good women will (hopefully) belong to them.

Btw, don't fuck any girl more than 3-4 times until you learn very good self-control. When these guys are saying you're thinking with your dick, it's because you're thinking with your dick. Yes, I know you have feelings from her, but they originated in..you guessed..your dick.


Lt. Col. Frank Slade : Haven't you heard? CONSCIENCE is daihed.
Charlie Simms : No, I haven't heard.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade : Well, then, take the fuckin' WAX outta your ears! GROW UP! It's fuck your buddy. Cheat on your wife. Call your mother on Mother's Day. Charlie, it's all shit.

 

[Hypertrophiac]

Gear and Sauce,

I was in your shoes just recently with my last g/f (like deja vu)....she said she was in love with me and i had some feelings for her too, but i'm one of the nicest calmest most mature guys i know and she could just get under my skin and make me want to blow my top and shoot fire out of my mouth. I thought so many times about beating the shit out of her (although i never did it and never have), and no girl has ever given me those thoughts before. My ex g/f had princess syndrome also....she and your girl could be twins. She never cheated on me, but she used to lie to me all the time and do drugs behind my back which i think was just as bad. I finally realized that while i have love for her, its more love like a good friend than being in love with her. I gave her plenty of chances, just like you gave your girl, and she still lied to me so that led me to believe that she either had no respect for me or didnt really love me like she said. If your girl really shows remorse, and you still see a future for you two, i think you need to show a little more strength and confidence in the relationship. Resorting to physical only shows weakness....dont ever lose your cool. If you really want to be in control you have to be the one that appears to care LESS. If i were you, i would suggest that you both try swinging. Make her go to a swingers club with you and tell her "look around, if you want to fuck other people then i'm going to fuck other people too, but we're not going to hide it from each other". If you both share the same relationship views, either you both will be into it and not let jealousy be an issue, or you both will see the absurdity of the suggestion and she will see things from a different perspective than her own selfish one. Another thing too, if you really love the girl you should tell her you want to go out one night, you her and the "guy" and have a beer. Tell her to say to his face that she regrets her fling with him and then tell him nicely that if she ever hooks up with him again then he can consider her his, because you wont want her anymore. Tell them both its their decision, that you dont give a shit anymore and that it will be easy for you to move on if she ever fucks up again. Once a girl knows that you have the strength to get over her easily at any given moment, then she will never take you for a joke again.

 

[Grizzly]

Man my girlfriend at the time who is now an ex (add another one to the list of women I've severally damanged mentally),

Dude, you are one cool motherfucker!

You're so cool I bet you grabbed her by the hair and smacked her head into the head board when having sex. Ooooh yeah, you go toughguy!

Did you put it in her ass without asking and "make" her suck your dick afterwards. Damn, you so bad, cool guy!

Yeah, I bet you told her! Ooooh yeah, you told her how big of a whore she was when she wanted to have sex. Then did you make her let you come on her face because of the whore she is? Damn, I really wish I could be as cool as you!

Grow up, you fucking douche!

 

[Grizzly]

i know fucking sluts like that

sick sick sick

no self respect for themselves or respect for anyone else

all they care about is themselves and they could care less how you feel

get away nowww!@!

Yep, just because she is sexually liberated and won't be forced into feeling guilty about sex by insecure men, she has no respect for herself. So true.

 

[thick]

definitely dump that slutty bitch for good. I dont understand why u keep talking to her at all. She will repeat herself

 

[AlphaWolf]

Dude, you are one cool motherfucker!

You're so cool I bet you grabbed her by the hair and smacked her head into the head board when having sex. Ooooh yeah, you go toughguy!

Did you put it in her ass without asking and "make" her suck your dick afterwards. Damn, you so bad, cool guy!

Yeah, I bet you told her! Ooooh yeah, you told her how big of a whore she was when she wanted to have sex. Then did you make her let you come on her face because of the whore she is? Damn, I really wish I could be as cool as you!

Grow up, you fucking douche!

LOL.

Easy there Grizzly I think you took that quote slightly out of context, either that or you have some sort of unknown issue with me. Anyway, your post was unecessary as it does not involve the topic at hand with my post I illustrate how people can react violently. Now to clarify on what I said;

"Man my girlfriend at the time who is now an ex (add another one to the list of women I've severally damanged mentally), "

When I said that I did not in anyway, shape or form mean that I as you said "grabbed her by the hair and smacked her head into the head board when having sex".

I'm not that kind of person, I don't hit women, I just couldn't bring myself to do that because it's not right to do at all under any circumstance, I've actually gotten into a fight with a person I saw back-hand hsi girl accross the face.

So now that I've made that point let me explain; when I said "add another one to the list of women I've severally damanged mentally" I meant in other words "i've made them just like me".

Now that I've had my say, I will add in that if you want to flame me some more (go right ahead I don't care) please do it through PM's, rather than wasting space on the board.

-AlphaWolf

 

[thick]

well if she has a boyfriend and she is fucking around than sexually liberated or not she is a f'n whore

Yep, just because she is sexually liberated and won't be forced into feeling guilty about sex by insecure men, she has no respect for herself. So true.

 

[Grizzly]

True, thick. However, that still doesn't indicate a lack of self-respect. No respect for him, but plenty for herself.

Alphawolf- Yes, I must have took that wrong. I interpreted that as you saying "because I'm the big, bad, cool man, I fucked with multiple girls heads for my own pleasure." I appologize. However, I'll dictate the terms of when and where I'll flame you. Got it?

 

[Starkraven]

dude, its because you are 21 and so is she LOL. im 22 and wont date any girl under 25, hell i want some 30 year old. the young bitches are just dumb but so are you for going back to her after she cheated in your face pretty much. dude there are plenty of girls out there, wtf do you need all that stress for man? i personally dont want a GF just for that reason. im not into the whole relationship thing.

 

[GeaR_and_SauCe]

Gixxer I'm in olde city at least 3 nights a week. Its funny because you say your a bouncer and if you work down there, its a 90% garuntee that I know you. I actually can think of one bouncer I know off the top of my head down there who grew up at the jersey shore and now works at a door guy at 32 degrees. If its you, feel free to e-mail me if you'd like because you know me. If not than whatever, its still a small world.

Also, like someone else mentions, she should be crying and sucking my cock everynight, I should have made her feel like a whore. Well, I've been on top of that since day one. She knows shes a whore and I've totally and systematically broken her spirit. I even made her tell me he own pesonal definition of a whore or a slut and then I asked her is she can honestly tell me that her definition doesn't describe her. It worked like a charm. I've totally degraded her and she cries when she tells me she loves me and I have nothing to say back. She will come to my house and lay with me, cry for a little bit, then suck me off and fuck my brains out. I treat her like shit, if I take her out now she insist on paying at least her half, if not more, and she doesn't have the balls to even look at another guy. I have no responisibility, I don't owe her anything and I don't give her anything, yet she is completely mine. Hence the reason I keep her around. I let her know that I deserve better and that if something better comes along, I will in no way hessitate to leave her. I told her straight out that she is basically a backup plan until I find something better. Now it becomes her decision if she wants to put up with that or not. She has no dignity in our relationship and she has no weight in any decisions I make. Yet, she insists on proving her love to me and will not leave. I'm not in a bad situation and I even told her that I'm hanging out with 2 of my girl friends tomorrow night and that she isn't invited. She insists that she doesn't want to go out without me and will stay in. So, heh, who is really the pussy? Not me, if she was still shitting on me I would have literally kicked her on her ass and left her. Now I've already lossed and am in a no lose situation. If I act how I want and treat her like shit, whats the worst she can do? Leave? So what....trust me I've thought it over and after talking with her and trying to make her hate me, its not that bad of a situation to be in....if anyone is going to be hurt in the end, its her...