The only reason I even started lifting was because of drugs. When I was around 14 or 15, I got into watching MPMD and other fitness influencers. I became really interested in pharmacology, but at the time, I was under 100 pounds—weak and pathetic, honestly. I knew that running gear before puberty was absolutely stupid, so I held off.
I’ve been holding off for years, even when my friends in high school were running SARMs and other stuff. Now I’m around 150 pounds at 5'7", sitting at roughly 20% body fat. I’ve realized that when I bulk, I tend to eat like garbage—something that helped me gain weight when I was severely underweight, but clearly isn’t the move anymore.
At this point, I think it’s best to focus on improving my diet, sleep, and work ethic before considering anything like that again. In around 6 months Ill be almost 21 and I hope I should have a better plan and more discipline in place.
I'm going to try and give you some jumping off points for you to start some research.
For our interests, there is a difference between scale weight and body mass. I say that to try and separate fluid retention from increase in contractile tissue, or adipose tissue. Our goal here is to grow tissue. Specifically contractile tissue. For that, we have to be in an anabolic state vs a catabolic state. This is controlled by food. Anabolic simply means that our tissue (muscle and / or fat) is growing. Catabolic means we are loosing tissue (muscle and / or fat).
The only way to grow contractile tissue is to eat the appropriate amount of food with the right macro balance for your current plan.
Our bodies don't just gather mass out of the air and tack it into our flesh regardless of steroid use or not.
The only way to grow is to eat.
Thinking steroids are what make you gain mass is like thinking installing a second valve stem will inflate your tire. (sorry dude, best I had right now)
Steroids are used to enhance anabolism. Right now at 19, you have enough hormones to maintain sufficient anabolism without steroids..... if you feed yourself properly.
Learn how to calculate your macros. Eat high protein (right now a gram for every pound of bodyweight is a good goal). Eat sufficient carbs. Get enough HEALTHY fats to support hormone production. Be picky where you get your fats from. Eat lean meats. Don't eat fried foods. Walnuts, hemp seeds, 2 egg yolks a day, .... learn about the difference in fats and eat the APPROPRIATE amount for your plan.
Sleep like a champion. Recovery is important. You are in the gym for 2 hours a day. That is only the impetus for change. How you spend the other 22 hours of the day is what determines what that change looks like.
Get as freaking nerdy about training as possible, and train hard enough to use all that food so your body turns it into muscle instead of fat.