drbeefsupreme
New Member
Hello Meso, I've been looking for an outlet to freely express my current fitness journey. I do yap at my friends about it and they're all supportive but they surely get tired of hearing about it. I'd rather write to an audience that could potentially give me valuable feedback as well. I'm surely not the first person on Meso in my shoes. And I'll be excited to look back on this journal in the future, and send it to any friends who ask about my journey. I've been 100% open about using gear to my friends before day one. So really this is just a healthy outlet, not some kind of secret (except for my parents).
I'm a mid 30's former strongman. I lifted hard and very consistently for about 7 years starting in my early 20's while I was in school where it was easy to spend 2-2.5 hours at the gym several days per week. I started running gear, and soon after moved somewhere that the closest gym was a strongman gym. I got to the point where I ran one strongman competition, intending to do them for at least a few years, then the pandemic happened and I fell out of lifting entirely for the last ~5 years.
It has been so long that I have no ego about lifting. I've forgotten 90% of what I know, and the other 10% I'm hazy on. My first session back, I benched 70 pounds. Wowzer! Totally untrained!
Long term my goal is to be a healthy all-rounder athlete with good quality of life at old age. I've dabbled in a bit of everything. At mostly separate times, I was a somewhat experienced lifter, intermediate runner, and intermediate yogi. Now I want to do a bit of everything, and look good doing it. I haven't yet determined what kind of role gear plays in my future. I've been on TRT ever since my second cycle. But given how much time I've been spending on steroid forums lately...
I have three big motivating factors going for me right now: one, I'm recovering from a neck injury that happened mostly due to lack of strength. I walked around with it for 6 months thinking it would heal on its own while it just got worse and I finally decided to go to physical therapy. I want to reduce the probability of something like this happening again. Two, I'm getting married in October and want to be the best possible husband for my soon to-be wife. She deserves it. Third, I was on medical leave from my job due to the neck injury, which has evolved into a furlough. At least they're still paying for my benefits. So I got all the time in the world to focus on fitness and health.
Current stack: the holy trinity
200 mg/week Test U (total: ~1100 ng/dL)
60 mg/week Primobolan E (for AI)
1000iu HCG 3x/week (for fertility, planning to freeze my swimmers soon and then get snipped)
6 mg retatrutide/week (or really 4.5mg/5 days)
3iu HGH (Optitropin) IM every morning
I also fool around with a rotation of other peptides. At the moment I mostly have that on pause while I dial in everything else, but none of it is terribly relevant to fitness (except when I run BPC-157 and TB4) so I probably won't mention it much, if at all. Even MOTS-C didn't really do much for me.
Starting stats (early March): 5'10", 204 lbs, ~28% body fat? (had a DEXA scan in late March at 27%). Squat 0, OHP 0, DL 0, Bench 0!
Current stats: 5'10", 183 lbs, ~17% body fat (had a DEXA scan at 17.5% a little over a week ago). And... Squat 100x5, OHP 65x5, DL 135x7, Bench 80x5 LOL. Its only been two weeks.
My current routine:
- Walk, run, and/or ruck fasted every morning starting about an hour after my HGH injection. Usually for at least 5 miles but I set a minimum of just 2 to account for rest days. Walking every day is the concrete that binds everything else together. I stay much better focused having a daily goal to achieve.
- Yoga twice per week. So far I'm just doing my favorite style, yin (holding poses for 3-5 minutes at a time, harder than it sounds). Walking around with a fucked up neck for so longer spread tightness across a surprising portion of my body, as nearby muscles correct for the neck problem, and then muscles close to those adjusted to those adjustments, etc. I got a lotttta work to do. Tbh I should probably bump this up to 3x a week until I'm healed, its already making issues with lifting.
- Contrast therapy 2-3x per week. Helps with recovery, mental toughness, energy levels, etc. Its high quality me time. Though as I've lost weight the cold plunge part has been getting more and more challenging lol. I live in a hot area of the country, and the sauna has made running in 95 degree heat very easy. I sweat a lot, but the heat doesn't even cross my mind as an annoyance.
- Finally, lifting. Given how much other exercise I'm doing and the fact that I'm cutting, I'm just doing Starting Strength twice per week. Blasting through the noob gains compounded with recaptured gains from the myonuclei left over from my glory days. I'm getting 2-on-1 personal training with my lifting buddy who started around the same time as me. She has about a year of prior experience but has also been off for about 5 years. Never took ANY personal training when I was into lifting before. 100% Youtube trained. I was a broke-ass student. Now that I'm older I recognize that paying a few hundred bucks for several sessions of form advice now may save me months of injury later. Given how miserable my busted ass neck has made my life, that's a steal to me.
So, am I gonna run gear again? At least a littttle bit. I've ordered some Test C/E and NPP. I don't plan to touch it anytime soon, but I want to have the option for when the time comes. And in uncertain times like these, with products with a shelf life of years, I'd rather stock up while its available and feel secure. Really, I'd love to get into homebrewing for harm reduction purposes, but the only sources for raws I've found have been bottom of the barrel, no COA shit.
I'm experimenting with TRT+ with the Primobolan. The only other AAS I've run before besides Test and Primo is Masteron. So the NPP is new to me. Interested in trying it out in small quantities primarily to help out with joints, tendons, etc. Curious what effect it might have on yoga. But its bad for fertility, so I gotta wait until I freeze my sperm (I want ~6 consecutive months of being sober with healthy fitness habits, currently at ~5) before its even on the table. Probably gonna wait until after my wedding. I don't want to risk side effects fucking up my dick or my face or whatever, even at tiny doses.
I'm guessing I'm more than a year out from considering running a real cycle (if I ever do). I have no idea how fast or how much of my old gains are gonna come back. Its funny though, I still look like I lift. Some of my volume never went away, especially in my traps and shoulders. I was already asked for advice on my second session in the gym by an older woman who said I looked like I knew what I was doing. noooope
Anyways, not working makes focusing on fitness and health extremely easy. Hope I can keep up 75% of this when I get back to the office. Hoping they keep me furloughed until after my wedding tbh...


I'm a mid 30's former strongman. I lifted hard and very consistently for about 7 years starting in my early 20's while I was in school where it was easy to spend 2-2.5 hours at the gym several days per week. I started running gear, and soon after moved somewhere that the closest gym was a strongman gym. I got to the point where I ran one strongman competition, intending to do them for at least a few years, then the pandemic happened and I fell out of lifting entirely for the last ~5 years.
It has been so long that I have no ego about lifting. I've forgotten 90% of what I know, and the other 10% I'm hazy on. My first session back, I benched 70 pounds. Wowzer! Totally untrained!
Long term my goal is to be a healthy all-rounder athlete with good quality of life at old age. I've dabbled in a bit of everything. At mostly separate times, I was a somewhat experienced lifter, intermediate runner, and intermediate yogi. Now I want to do a bit of everything, and look good doing it. I haven't yet determined what kind of role gear plays in my future. I've been on TRT ever since my second cycle. But given how much time I've been spending on steroid forums lately...
I have three big motivating factors going for me right now: one, I'm recovering from a neck injury that happened mostly due to lack of strength. I walked around with it for 6 months thinking it would heal on its own while it just got worse and I finally decided to go to physical therapy. I want to reduce the probability of something like this happening again. Two, I'm getting married in October and want to be the best possible husband for my soon to-be wife. She deserves it. Third, I was on medical leave from my job due to the neck injury, which has evolved into a furlough. At least they're still paying for my benefits. So I got all the time in the world to focus on fitness and health.
Current stack: the holy trinity
200 mg/week Test U (total: ~1100 ng/dL)
60 mg/week Primobolan E (for AI)
1000iu HCG 3x/week (for fertility, planning to freeze my swimmers soon and then get snipped)
6 mg retatrutide/week (or really 4.5mg/5 days)
3iu HGH (Optitropin) IM every morning
I also fool around with a rotation of other peptides. At the moment I mostly have that on pause while I dial in everything else, but none of it is terribly relevant to fitness (except when I run BPC-157 and TB4) so I probably won't mention it much, if at all. Even MOTS-C didn't really do much for me.
Starting stats (early March): 5'10", 204 lbs, ~28% body fat? (had a DEXA scan in late March at 27%). Squat 0, OHP 0, DL 0, Bench 0!
Current stats: 5'10", 183 lbs, ~17% body fat (had a DEXA scan at 17.5% a little over a week ago). And... Squat 100x5, OHP 65x5, DL 135x7, Bench 80x5 LOL. Its only been two weeks.
My current routine:
- Walk, run, and/or ruck fasted every morning starting about an hour after my HGH injection. Usually for at least 5 miles but I set a minimum of just 2 to account for rest days. Walking every day is the concrete that binds everything else together. I stay much better focused having a daily goal to achieve.
- Yoga twice per week. So far I'm just doing my favorite style, yin (holding poses for 3-5 minutes at a time, harder than it sounds). Walking around with a fucked up neck for so longer spread tightness across a surprising portion of my body, as nearby muscles correct for the neck problem, and then muscles close to those adjusted to those adjustments, etc. I got a lotttta work to do. Tbh I should probably bump this up to 3x a week until I'm healed, its already making issues with lifting.
- Contrast therapy 2-3x per week. Helps with recovery, mental toughness, energy levels, etc. Its high quality me time. Though as I've lost weight the cold plunge part has been getting more and more challenging lol. I live in a hot area of the country, and the sauna has made running in 95 degree heat very easy. I sweat a lot, but the heat doesn't even cross my mind as an annoyance.
- Finally, lifting. Given how much other exercise I'm doing and the fact that I'm cutting, I'm just doing Starting Strength twice per week. Blasting through the noob gains compounded with recaptured gains from the myonuclei left over from my glory days. I'm getting 2-on-1 personal training with my lifting buddy who started around the same time as me. She has about a year of prior experience but has also been off for about 5 years. Never took ANY personal training when I was into lifting before. 100% Youtube trained. I was a broke-ass student. Now that I'm older I recognize that paying a few hundred bucks for several sessions of form advice now may save me months of injury later. Given how miserable my busted ass neck has made my life, that's a steal to me.
So, am I gonna run gear again? At least a littttle bit. I've ordered some Test C/E and NPP. I don't plan to touch it anytime soon, but I want to have the option for when the time comes. And in uncertain times like these, with products with a shelf life of years, I'd rather stock up while its available and feel secure. Really, I'd love to get into homebrewing for harm reduction purposes, but the only sources for raws I've found have been bottom of the barrel, no COA shit.
I'm experimenting with TRT+ with the Primobolan. The only other AAS I've run before besides Test and Primo is Masteron. So the NPP is new to me. Interested in trying it out in small quantities primarily to help out with joints, tendons, etc. Curious what effect it might have on yoga. But its bad for fertility, so I gotta wait until I freeze my sperm (I want ~6 consecutive months of being sober with healthy fitness habits, currently at ~5) before its even on the table. Probably gonna wait until after my wedding. I don't want to risk side effects fucking up my dick or my face or whatever, even at tiny doses.
I'm guessing I'm more than a year out from considering running a real cycle (if I ever do). I have no idea how fast or how much of my old gains are gonna come back. Its funny though, I still look like I lift. Some of my volume never went away, especially in my traps and shoulders. I was already asked for advice on my second session in the gym by an older woman who said I looked like I knew what I was doing. noooope
Anyways, not working makes focusing on fitness and health extremely easy. Hope I can keep up 75% of this when I get back to the office. Hoping they keep me furloughed until after my wedding tbh...


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