Useless hobby?

[Malevolent666]

My only hobby is listening to death, black and thrash metal and lifting weights/cardio. Besides spending time with the family of course. I don't know if it's a 40 year old midlife crisis but I'm starting to think I should lose the metal and the lifestyle that comes with it. Conform fully to what a 40 year old, suburban, father and husband is supposed to look like by societys standards. The band shirts, wearing mostly black, and being non religious all are not normal.

Pros to metal: 1. Keeps me motivated to excerise and continue exercising in the gym. Gets me through heavy, intense training.

2. Stress relief and feeling empowered. I never feel the need to bully people or make others feel small. I get my feeling of power from metal. I see in humans an underlying need to bully or have power over others.

3. I truly enjoy the music. I love riffs! They speak to me in a way. The mainstream prefers lyrics about money or relationships. I just want to hear beastly riffs.

Cons

1. Can metal fuel anger? If so, that's definitely a con.

2. Your an outcast. For example I wore an Immolation (a death metal band) beanie to my kids baseball game. I would bet my paycheck not one parent there heard of Immolation. I would definitely get some looks like, what the hell does his hat say, looks weird. At this game you'll see the typical north face beanies, sports team beanies, etc. Obviously nothing that stands out like mine...

I realize the majority will see this as a stupid thread but hopefully someone can add some insight to it. Thanks

 

[Ryobi]

Do whatever makes you happy fuck what society thinks or judges you for.

 

[Nidus]

Do whatever makes you happy fuck what society thinks or judges you for.

and add more tren jk jk.

As Ryobi already said, fuck them all and everyone.

 

[BeardedGuy]

Depends what you want for and where your kids are positioned in life. Oddball parents have oddball kids. It’s sad but true. I screwed up in my late 30s and my kids are still suffering 10years later… so, you might be right. You can always look normal and have a dark side. ‍

 

[Malevolent666]

Depends what you want for and where your kids are positioned in life. Oddball parents have oddball kids. It’s sad but true. I screwed up in my late 30s and my kids are still suffering 10years later… so, you might be right. You can always look normal and have a dark side. ‍

My kids are 8 and 9 and in Catholic school (wife is Catholic). Far from metal culture.

 

[Malevolent666]

Depends what you want for and where your kids are positioned in life. Oddball parents have oddball kids. It’s sad but true. I screwed up in my late 30s and my kids are still suffering 10years later… so, you might be right. You can always look normal and have a dark side. ‍

I have a Slayer tattoo on each shoulder. Kind of hard to reinvent yourself when it's tattooed on me lol. The first one I got was a rough time in my life where Slayer was like my alcohol so to speak. The music really spoke to me.

 

[BeardedGuy]

I have a Slayer tattoo on each shoulder. Kind of hard to reinvent yourself when it's tattooed on me lol. The first one I got was a rough time in my life where Slayer was like my alcohol so to speak. The music really spoke to me.

That sounds fully viable to be yourself. This was from my youth, but we’re all here now, look at them great kids! Sounds like you can be you and stay consistent and continue to do well by that family. I wavered, that’s on me, you stay your course and be well.

 

[Bigoldguy]

My only hobby is listening to death, black and thrash metal and lifting weights/cardio. Besides spending time with the family of course. I don't know if it's a 40 year old midlife crisis but I'm starting to think I should lose the metal and the lifestyle that comes with it. Conform fully to what a 40 year old, suburban, father and husband is supposed to look like by societys standards. The band shirts, wearing mostly black, and being non religious all are not normal.

Pros to metal: 1. Keeps me motivated to excerise and continue exercising in the gym. Gets me through heavy, intense training.

2. Stress relief and feeling empowered. I never feel the need to bully people or make others feel small. I get my feeling of power from metal. I see in humans an underlying need to bully or have power over others.

3. I truly enjoy the music. I love riffs! They speak to me in a way. The mainstream prefers lyrics about money or relationships. I just want to hear beastly riffs.

Cons

1. Can metal fuel anger? If so, that's definitely a con.

2. Your an outcast. For example I wore an Immolation (a death metal band) beanie to my kids baseball game. I would bet my paycheck not one parent there heard of Immolation. I would definitely get some looks like, what the hell does his hat say, looks weird. At this game you'll see the typical north face beanies, sports team beanies, etc. Obviously nothing that stands out like mine...

I realize the majority will see this as a stupid thread but hopefully someone can add some insight to it. Thanks

Just an old farts opinion here: I see no reason to give up the music...if you want to clean up the look and get away from the stereotypical black, band shirts, etc., you can still do it without losing the sounds.
I doubt its a mis life crisis so much as just getting older a reprioritizing a bit. We all do it in the 40's imo. Be you, just make sure you settle on the you that you want to be.

 

[bob357sig]

I understand your struggles. I’m 55 and listen to punk, Hardcore Punk, Thrash and Death myself. Sometimes I will think to myself “ how can I be the age im at and still be listening to this” when everybody else is listening to cool jazz or some bullshit. Then I remember that I can’t stand that as much as other people can’t stand my music. It’s just what I have always liked. I gave up trying to be normal. If I was a normal 55 year old I probably wouldn’t be pounding weights in a gym full of people half my age, wearing my Gwar shirt with the sleeves cut off while listening to GG Allen preforming “ Drink fight and fuck” in my ear buds. What’s the old saying? I would rather be dead than be normal, in hindsight I have always lived my life like that. I don’t know why. I have just accepted that it is just who I am.

 

[Malevolent666]

I understand your struggles. I’m 55 and listen to punk, Hardcore Punk, Thrash and Death myself. Sometimes I will think to myself “ how can I be the age im at and still be listening to this” when everybody else is listening to cool jazz or some bullshit. Then I remember that I can’t stand that as much as other people can’t stand my music. It’s just what I have always liked. I gave up trying to be normal. If I was a normal 55 year old I probably wouldn’t be pounding weights in a gym full of people half my age, wearing my Gwar shirt with the sleeves cut off while listening to GG Allen preforming “ Drink fight and fuck” in my ear buds. What’s the old saying? I would rather be dead than be normal, in hindsight I have always lived my life like that. I don’t know why. I have just accepted that it is just who I am.

Brilliant post. You said exactly what I'm thinking.

 

[bigbeancat]

I think you may be over thinking things. You shouldn't need to feel insecure about your music choices, and should you ever go to a concert for those bands you'll probably find a lot of people in your age range there.

People may look because they may not recognize the band, or the logo, or the font style. But a beanie and a music preference isnt going to alienate you by itsself.

 

[Malevolent666]

I think you may be over thinking things. You shouldn't need to feel insecure about your music choices, and should you ever go to a concert for those bands you'll probably find a lot of people in your age range there.

People may look because they may not recognize the band, or the logo, or the font style. But a beanie and a music preference isnt going to alienate you by itsself.

Sticking out can make people feel insecure. For example I wore a Slayer shirt to my kids baseball game (came straight from the gym). I definitely got some looks. Even though 99% of the Dads look like they never lifted a weight in their life, and look deplorable. You still get looks regardless of you looking physically better than them. Why? Because your shirt isn't the norm.

Our society says once you hit a certain age range, you have to wear your hat a certain way and not wear metal band shirts. The sheep follow what they see.

 

[craigdt]

Ha
Im kind of the opposite.

Saw myself becoming soft and boring like all the other dads in their mid to late 30s.

So I started steroids, started listening to metal again and had my wife spruce up my wardrobe a bit.

Life is too damn short. Do what makes you happy and healthy.

 

[DoubleDeez]

Sticking out can make people feel insecure. For example I wore a Slayer shirt to my kids baseball game (came straight from the gym). I definitely got some looks. Even though 99% of the Dads look like they never lifted a weight in their life, and look deplorable. You still get looks regardless of you looking physically better than them. Why? Because your shirt isn't the norm.

Our society says once you hit a certain age range, you have to wear your hat a certain way and not wear metal band shirts. The sheep follow what they see.

I’m a late-30s mom who still occasionally sports the metal shirts, I still have the fun colored hair, my tattoos are everywhere and will never be completely hidden, and I really don’t care. I’m happy with my life. Societal norms have never swayed me one way or another. When you’re your authentic self, you attract your tribe. I have recently started a job where I have found a few ladies who are just like me and it’s nice to be able to connect with people who are unconventional and not boring.

 

[Malevolent666]

Ha
Im kind of the opposite.

Saw myself becoming soft and boring like all the other dads in their mid to late 30s.

So I started steroids, started listening to metal again and had my wife spruce up my wardrobe a bit.

Life is too damn short. Do what makes you happy and healthy.

For me metal is an advantage. It's perfect for the gym (I also enjoy it outside the gym). There's a ton of bands so I never get bored. It keeps me interested in lifting and makes it more enjoyable.

Metal especially hits harder on cycle.

 

[Malevolent666]

I’m a late-30s mom who still occasionally sports the metal shirts, I still have the fun colored hair, my tattoos are everywhere and will never be completely hidden, and I really don’t care. I’m happy with my life. Societal norms have never swayed me one way or another. When you’re your authentic self, you attract your tribe. I have recently started a job where I have found a few ladies who are just like me and it’s nice to be able to connect with people who are unconventional and not boring.

A lot of Metal shirts have anti-Christian imagery, satanic imagery or gore themed. Those definitely go against the grain in the USA.

The bottom line is this music makes me want to lift and get the body moving more than any other music. Wearing the shirts is just part of me being proud of my music.

 

[DoubleDeez]

A lot of Metal shirts have anti-Christian imagery, satanic imagery or gore themed. Those definitely go against the grain in the USA.

The bottom line is this music makes me want to lift and get the body moving more than any other music. Wearing the shirts is just part of me being proud of my music.

Personally I don’t care for the “edgy” anti-Christian stuff, and I’m not even a Christian. But I am a sucker for the gore and dark artwork in general, and that stuff will still draw some looks here in the South. Most of my band shirts were bought at shows, I love supporting the musicians I love. The only reason I don’t wear the stuff as often as I used to is because I’ve fallen in love with certain fabrics and cuts of shirts that flatter my body way more than a men’s small t-shirt ever could lol. Band merch is seriously lacking in the women’s department.

 

[Malevolent666]

Personally I don’t care for the “edgy” anti-Christian stuff, and I’m not even a Christian. But I am a sucker for the gore and dark artwork in general, and that stuff will still draw some looks here in the South. Most of my band shirts were bought at shows, I love supporting the musicians I love. The only reason I don’t wear the stuff as often as I used to is because I’ve fallen in love with certain fabrics and cuts of shirts that flatter my body way more than a men’s small t-shirt ever could lol. Band merch is seriously lacking in the women’s department.

I personally don't wear them because I think it's "edgy." I was raised in a cult type Christian environment so I can relate to the rebellion against religion in general. Metal is big on rebellion in general.

 

[Bandern]

I wouldn’t overthink it. I think god is cool and good and I also enjoy my fair share of black/death metal and rap music about killing people and doing wrestling maneuvers to bricks of cocaine. It’s just art at the end of the day. Nobody should care which dancing monkeys you like, and if they do they’re a dork

 

[ChoZeN1]

Yeah, no hobby is a bad hobby. They keep us from doing dumb shit. My girlfriend got me into metal and heavy metal music like 8 years ago. If it makes you happy, do it !