Rekindling My Lust for Life: A Fairy's HRT Log

[Photon]

Alright I’ve got a question, since everyone here is more experienced with pinning than I am… why the fuq is my left ass cheek so easy but every single injection we’ve done in the right cheek has been almost unbearable? No PIP, just the injection itself. We’ve tried multiple spots on that cheek and not one of them has been easy. I hardly feel a thing on my left cheek in comparison.

Spoiler: TMI

Also really wild to me because when I get spanked on my left cheek it stings way more, I’m like immune to spankings on my right cheek. So not sure why it’s flip flopped for injections.

(31g, 1/4” length 0.3cc insulin syringe for sub-q)

Might be fat % on each cheek.
The human body is not symmetrical.
If you do a DEXA scan you can usually see that one side has more muscle, the other more fat.

However @ 31g, tbh you shouldn't feel anything.

 

[DoubleDeez]

Might be fat % on each cheek.
The human body is not symmetrical.
If you do a DEXA scan you can usually see that one side has more muscle, the other more fat.

However @ 31g, tbh you shouldn't feel anything.

I know that my right cheek is a little more plump, I have that little bit of a crease towards the bottom of the left one where it’s not as filled out as my dominant side. Hmmm

 

[Danimarie]

This is where I’m going to be detailing my HRT journey, as I believe I am in the early stages of perimenopause and I believe the best approach to improve my quality of life is to treat the hormones (the cause) and not just the symptoms.

Some background: I am 38. From childhood onward, I have always had a zesty libido. Medical professionals would call it hypersexuality due to childhood trauma, but that part isn’t important. The fact is, my sexuality has always been a core part of my being, so much so that I even made a career of it (camming) so I could capitalize on that part of me. Never had a boyfriend who could keep up with me until the guy I’m with now. We’ve been together for nearly 3.5 years and he’s been the only one who could give me a run for my money in that department. His libido has only intensified since playing with AAS. We generally do the deed 3x/day.

Last month’s cycle was the first cycle where I felt the physical effects of my hormones declining. It happened suddenly. After ovulation, I just dried up. I’d already been experiencing loss of energy, brain fog, and an overall feeling that my well-being was declining. I didn’t take any of it seriously enough until my pussy was like “yeah girl, I know you’re horny but I just can’t make any lubrication for ya.” It was depressing, to say the least. I ordered blood tests to see wtf is going on. My initial plan was TRT. I got my results back to find that my estrogen is alarmingly low for my age (I’m talking post-menopausal levels.) My testosterone and progesterone are on the lower end of the normal range, but nowhere near the urgency of my estrogen levels. There are supplements I have for vaginal dryness and they do help a lot on the days that I take them (slippery elm bark is the most notable one) but that isn’t good enough for me. And I can’t start with TRT now, with my e2 being as low as it is. I’d be at risk of virilization, and I wish to preserve my precious femininity at all costs. So the estrogen must come first. (And I know I need to supplement progesterone too, which I will be doing topically. I need to be careful with that one though, as I am particularly sensitive to the progesterone surge in the luteal phase of my cycle. If you’re not familiar with PMDD, it’s scary. Like PMS but more intense and for a bit longer. It can make one feel suicidal, it’s so intense. When I am 10 days out from my expected period is when I start to spiral. So I will proceed with caution there, but I do know I will be needing some to protect my uterus. As long as my estrogen is high enough and things are in balance I think I will be fine. E injections might even be the most effective treatment for PMDD, stabilizing those levels so the progesterone doesn’t make me wanna unalive myself.)

I have some Lady Test stashed away (50mg/mL test cyp) and a bottle of E cyp (100mg/mL) on the way that should be here in the coming week. My plan is to inject the E twice a week, 1mg every Monday morning and again on Thursday night. I plan to run that for 2-3 months and then assess where I’m at, as far as numbers but most importantly, feels. I then plan to start the low dose testosterone injections (1mg EOD) as the final piece of the puzzle.

While waiting for the E cyp to get here, I ordered a cream off of Amazon to apply to my lady bits. I just tried one baby dose to see how it would feel. (Recommended dose is two pumps, I used half a pump before the gym.) The cream contains progesterone, estriol, and estradiol. When I got home and the man and I had our post-gym f*ck, I was the wettest and most sensitive I have been in a long time. Like even more intense than ovulation has been. This excited me. I might end up being a super-responder and get to stay at very low doses of these hormones to feel better, which would not surprise me considering how small I am and how sensitive to substances I have always been.

If you made it to the end here, thanks for reading. I am hoping to get feedback along the way, should I run into any problems, and maybe I could even help some others in the process. I have seen a good number of men in here express interest in HRT/TRT for their wives, and if my contribution here can help even one woman feel better and more comfortable in her own skin, then publicizing my experience will have been 100% worth it.

I will keep this log updated with every notable thing that happens along the way.

Thank you for making this log.

 

[DoubleDeez]

4 weeks in - tiny update: My joint pain has significantly lessened at this point. My bad elbow is no longer killing me. Maybe a few times a day I’ll extend my arm out all the way and feel it, but I’m not waking up in pain and I am starting to be able to do all the bullshit mundane tasks that had gotten difficult for me. A couple weeks ago, even reaching for my glass of water on the nightstand had me wincing in pain. I’m still going to take it easy as far as working out, I’ve only been going to the gym for leg day while this shit is healing. That part kills me. But I am on the mend and I don’t feel like an 80-year-old now. I can even carry in a few grocery bags on that arm again.

 

[DoubleDeez]

Alright, a question for @Superchicken and the husbands of the ladies on HRT. I am looking for personal anecdotes, no scientific mumbo jumbo. Was there an initial imbalance early on that caused significant changes to the cycle? I started my HRT journey a month ago, got my period two days after, right when it was predicted to arrive (my cycles average 25-26 days lately, with 28-day cycles being more of a rarity these last few years.) This month, now that everything has had more time to saturate, things are a little off. As in, I’m on day 30 right now and still no sign of Aunt Flo. I definitely felt the PMS symptoms leading up to the predicted period, I took my progesterone for the full 14 days… and now here I am days later, no hormonal swings at all, I’ve had a sporadic cramp or two since yesterday and that’s fucking it.

Don’t bother suggesting possible pregnancy. My tubes have been tied for 14 years, and my boyfriend is on gear, so the chances are extremely slim. (I will probably test tomorrow anyway if I make it to day 31 without a drop of blood.) I recently read an article from last year that a newer study suggests that the fail rate of tubals is closer to 3-5% rather than <1% that was previously said. But still, if that were to happen to me I would think it would’ve happened before he hopped on cycle, yeah? I’ve been his little cum dumpster for 3.5 years at this point. Idk.

I know T will mess with cycles but I haven’t even gotten to that part of my journey yet. I’ve read stories of women starting E & P and then getting a period every 2 weeks. Not my experience…

Really just putting this out into the universe so my period will magically show up right after I post it. (And if that doesn’t work, it surely will show up right after I piss on a stick tomorrow and get a negative result?)

 

[Bandern]

Alright, a question for @Superchicken and the husbands of the ladies on HRT. I am looking for personal anecdotes, no scientific mumbo jumbo. Was there an initial imbalance early on that caused significant changes to the cycle? I started my HRT journey a month ago, got my period two days after, right when it was predicted to arrive (my cycles average 25-26 days lately, with 28-day cycles being more of a rarity these last few years.) This month, now that everything has had more time to saturate, things are a little off. As in, I’m on day 30 right now and still no sign of Aunt Flo. I definitely felt the PMS symptoms leading up to the predicted period, I took my progesterone for the full 14 days… and now here I am days later, no hormonal swings at all, I’ve had a sporadic cramp or two since yesterday and that’s fucking it.

Don’t bother suggesting possible pregnancy. My tubes have been tied for 14 years, and my boyfriend is on gear, so the chances are extremely slim. (I will probably test tomorrow anyway if I make it to day 31 without a drop of blood.) I recently read an article from last year that a newer study suggests that the fail rate of tubals is closer to 3-5% rather than <1% that was previously said. But still, if that were to happen to me I would think it would’ve happened before he hopped on cycle, yeah? I’ve been his little cum dumpster for 3.5 years at this point. Idk.

I know T will mess with cycles but I haven’t even gotten to that part of my journey yet. I’ve read stories of women starting E & P and then getting a period every 2 weeks. Not my experience…

Really just putting this out into the universe so my period will magically show up right after I post it. (And if that doesn’t work, it surely will show up right after I piss on a stick tomorrow and get a negative result?)

Spoiler alert: ur pregnant af

 

[DoubleDeez]

Spoiler alert: ur pregnant af

Stop it. You know I would welcome that with open arms but I don’t think that’s in the cards for me darling

 

[Bandern]

Stop it. You know I would welcome that with open arms but I don’t think that’s in the cards for me darling

Can we name the baby after a cannibal corpse song

 

[DoubleDeez]

Can we name the baby after a cannibal corpse song

Sigh. Yes, dear.

 

[bossetti]

Can we name the baby after a cannibal corpse song

I say george droyd @Benf15harp

 

[Bandern]

Sigh. Yes, dear.

We Are So Back

 

[Bandern]

I say george droyd @Benf15harp

Stop trying to bait me into committing a racism in a women’s hrt thread. There’s a time and place for these things (out the window of a moving vehicle)

 

[DoubleDeez]

Day 32. Still not a drop of blood to be seen anywhere. Peed on a stick yesterday with my morning pee, it was negative. I know periods can be unpredictable in peri, and tinkering with hormones can add to that, but this seems extreme to me. My cycles had gotten shorter and came every month within a semi predictable window. I think I’m too young to be skipping a period at this point but who tf knows anymore. I’m starting to suspect that maybe I started the P too early in my cycle, and prevented ovulation from happening? But still, the withdrawal of P after 14 days should’ve triggered a period within a few days, yeah? My period should’ve been ending by now, I’m at a loss. All the delayed period stuff I come across in my searches are related to exogenous T or continuous P, which do not apply to me. UNLESS… Could the P in my local vaginal cream (that I apply daily except when bleeding) be to blame here? It’s not incredibly common, but systemic absorption can happen. I’m reluctant to give it up though. I can’t find a cream with just estradiol/estriol without a prescription and this cream has done wonders for me.

Fack.

Edit; I just found a different cream on Amazon, estriol-based, with no P in it. Switching to that as soon as possible.

 

[Stealth500]

Day 32. Still not a drop of blood to be seen anywhere. Peed on a stick yesterday with my morning pee, it was negative. I know periods can be unpredictable in peri, and tinkering with hormones can add to that, but this seems extreme to me. My cycles had gotten shorter and came every month within a semi predictable window. I think I’m too young to be skipping a period at this point but who tf knows anymore. I’m starting to suspect that maybe I started the P too early in my cycle, and prevented ovulation from happening? But still, the withdrawal of P after 14 days should’ve triggered a period within a few days, yeah? My period should’ve been ending by now, I’m at a loss. All the delayed period stuff I come across in my searches are related to exogenous T or continuous P, which do not apply to me. UNLESS… Could the P in my local vaginal cream (that I apply daily except when bleeding) be to blame here? It’s not incredibly common, but systemic absorption can happen. I’m reluctant to give it up though. I can’t find a cream with just estradiol/estriol without a prescription and this cream has done wonders for me.

Fack.

Edit; I just found a different cream on Amazon, estriol-based, with no P in it. Switching to that as soon as possible.

this is concerning. I would feel terrible giving my wife shitty advice on these substances but feel like a doctor out here would be 1000x worse.

 

[DoubleDeez]

this is concerning. I would feel terrible giving my wife shitty advice on these substances but feel like a doctor out here would be 1000x worse.

I knew there would be some trial and error with this. But I’m fairly certain that the vaginal cream (was also rubbing it into my bad elbow) might be playing a big part in this. 40mg of Progesterone per serving is significant. Skipping the cream for now, and I’ll see what happens.

 

[Superchicken]

Alright, a question for @Superchicken and the husbands of the ladies on HRT. I am looking for personal anecdotes, no scientific mumbo jumbo. Was there an initial imbalance early on that caused significant changes to the cycle? I started my HRT journey a month ago, got my period two days after, right when it was predicted to arrive (my cycles average 25-26 days lately, with 28-day cycles being more of a rarity these last few years.) This month, now that everything has had more time to saturate, things are a little off. As in, I’m on day 30 right now and still no sign of Aunt Flo. I definitely felt the PMS symptoms leading up to the predicted period, I took my progesterone for the full 14 days… and now here I am days later, no hormonal swings at all, I’ve had a sporadic cramp or two since yesterday and that’s fucking it.

Don’t bother suggesting possible pregnancy. My tubes have been tied for 14 years, and my boyfriend is on gear, so the chances are extremely slim. (I will probably test tomorrow anyway if I make it to day 31 without a drop of blood.) I recently read an article from last year that a newer study suggests that the fail rate of tubals is closer to 3-5% rather than <1% that was previously said. But still, if that were to happen to me I would think it would’ve happened before he hopped on cycle, yeah? I’ve been his little cum dumpster for 3.5 years at this point. Idk.

I know T will mess with cycles but I haven’t even gotten to that part of my journey yet. I’ve read stories of women starting E & P and then getting a period every 2 weeks. Not my experience…

Really just putting this out into the universe so my period will magically show up right after I post it. (And if that doesn’t work, it surely will show up right after I piss on a stick tomorrow and get a negative result.

Sorry, saw this and forgot to respond. My cycles did get wonky after starting hrt. They already had shortened to 25/26 days around when I turned 35, but then they started spacing out a little to 28ish again with hrt. Then it got to 32, and then back 28ish. I just scrolled back through my app, so it looks like they’d space out a few cycles then jump to something stupid like 21 days before going back to 32ish. A few mos were sprinkled with bleeding every 2 weeks. I’m almost 2 full years in and my cycle has been 33 days apart more consistently now.

When I brought this up to my provider she said perimenopause is just chaotic and that adding in outside hormones helps stabilize, but we still have our own fluctuations that will contribute to inconsistencies. She said it just fucking sucks and that it’s a lot of adjusting. She also reminded me that periods are supposed to be off and not the way they were before now. I’m always ready to try something new as soon as I’m inconvenienced lol, but I do think it’s important to stick to one protocol for at least 2 cycles before making any adjustments. Having periods space out isn’t terrible though, but it is stressful. I hate it.

Even before hrt, when my cycles were consistent with when they came, I know that ovulation had changed for me. I know when I am ovulating and had cycles with zero signs of fertility at all. My mom had regular cycles all the way through to menopause until the last month when she had two and then never again. There’s no way she was fertile that whole time. Bodies are weird and I really hope that shit doesn’t happen to me.

 

[DoubleDeez]

Sorry, saw this and forgot to respond. My cycles did get wonky after starting hrt. They already had shortened to 25/26 days around when I turned 35, but then they started spacing out a little to 28ish again with hrt. Then it got to 32, and then back 28ish. I just scrolled back through my app, so it looks like they’d space out a few cycles then jump to something stupid like 21 days before going back to 32ish. A few mos were sprinkled with bleeding every 2 weeks. I’m almost 2 full years in and my cycle has been 33 days apart more consistently now.

When I brought this up to my provider she said perimenopause is just chaotic and that adding in outside hormones helps stabilize, but we still have our own fluctuations that will contribute to inconsistencies. She said it just fucking sucks and that it’s a lot of adjusting. She also reminded me that periods are supposed to be off and not the way they were before now. I’m always ready to try something new as soon as I’m inconvenienced lol, but I do think it’s important to stick to one protocol for at least 2 cycles before making any adjustments. Having periods space out isn’t terrible though, but it is stressful. I hate it.

Even before hrt, when my cycles were consistent with when they came, I know that ovulation had changed for me. I know when I am ovulating and had cycles with zero signs of fertility at all. My mom had regular cycles all the way through to menopause until the last month when she had two and then never again. There’s no way she was fertile that whole time. Bodies are weird and I really hope that shit doesn’t happen to me.

Thank you for getting back to me on this, I just breathed a sigh of relief.

 

[ChemBB]

Alright, a question for @Superchicken and the husbands of the ladies on HRT. I am looking for personal anecdotes, no scientific mumbo jumbo. Was there an initial imbalance early on that caused significant changes to the cycle?

8-year AAS using wife.

One of the biggest reasons why she enjoys AAS is that it suppresses her period entirely.

On a few occasions (missed a few days of doses, gear was underdosed) she'll get one. We're able to use the presence/absence of a period as a sort of "hormonal barometer".

Have a period = Not enough gear
No period = Enough gear

 

[DoubleDeez]

8-year AAS using wife.

One of the biggest reasons why she enjoys AAS is that it suppresses her period entirely.

On a few occasions (missed a few days of doses, gear was underdosed) she'll get one. We're able to use the presence/absence of a period as a sort of "hormonal barometer".

Have a period = Not enough gear
No period = Enough gear

I’m all for personal choice, but with all due respect, that sounds kinda dangerous to me. If somebody had told me at 20 that there was a way to stop periods, I would’ve been all over the idea in the moment, for the sake of convenience. But as I gained a little wisdom and learned more about hormones, I started to appreciate periods for the health marker that they are. Analyzing the color of the blood, the consistency, and the symptoms that accompany your period tell a lot about your state of hormones and health, and at this point in my life I would be happy to have periods until I’m 80 if I could. It makes me feel complete, and womanly, even though I’m done having children I still think having optimal fertility for as long as possible is a good thing for long-term health.

 

[ChemBB]

It makes me feel complete, and womanly, even though I’m done having children

Fair enough.

My wife is near 40, and she's medically sterilized. Menses were nothing but a nuisance for her and she very much appreciates their absense, lol.

Periods serve as an indicator of reproductive health and hormonal balance in those who are pre-menopausal and not using interventions like birth control or HRT.
There are many scenarios in which being amenorrheic is both expected and perfectly "healthy".

You're more than welcome to feel however you like -- though I don't feel it's proper to suggest that women in scenarios where amenorrhea is expected is an "unhealthy" or "unwomanly" state.