Rekindling My Lust for Life: A Fairy's HRT Log

DoubleDeez

Banned for using multiple active alt accounts
This is where I’m going to be detailing my HRT journey, as I believe I am in the early stages of perimenopause and I believe the best approach to improve my quality of life is to treat the hormones (the cause) and not just the symptoms.

Some background: I am 38. From childhood onward, I have always had a zesty libido. Medical professionals would call it hypersexuality due to childhood trauma, but that part isn’t important. The fact is, my sexuality has always been a core part of my being, so much so that I even made a career of it (camming) so I could capitalize on that part of me. Never had a boyfriend who could keep up with me until the guy I’m with now. We’ve been together for nearly 3.5 years and he’s been the only one who could give me a run for my money in that department. His libido has only intensified since playing with AAS. We generally do the deed 3x/day.

Last month’s cycle was the first cycle where I felt the physical effects of my hormones declining. It happened suddenly. After ovulation, I just dried up. I’d already been experiencing loss of energy, brain fog, and an overall feeling that my well-being was declining. I didn’t take any of it seriously enough until my pussy was like “yeah girl, I know you’re horny but I just can’t make any lubrication for ya.” It was depressing, to say the least. I ordered blood tests to see wtf is going on. My initial plan was TRT. I got my results back to find that my estrogen is alarmingly low for my age (I’m talking post-menopausal levels.) My testosterone and progesterone are on the lower end of the normal range, but nowhere near the urgency of my estrogen levels. There are supplements I have for vaginal dryness and they do help a lot on the days that I take them (slippery elm bark is the most notable one) but that isn’t good enough for me. And I can’t start with TRT now, with my e2 being as low as it is. I’d be at risk of virilization, and I wish to preserve my precious femininity at all costs. So the estrogen must come first. (And I know I need to supplement progesterone too, which I will be doing topically. I need to be careful with that one though, as I am particularly sensitive to the progesterone surge in the luteal phase of my cycle. If you’re not familiar with PMDD, it’s scary. Like PMS but more intense and for a bit longer. It can make one feel suicidal, it’s so intense. When I am 10 days out from my expected period is when I start to spiral. So I will proceed with caution there, but I do know I will be needing some to protect my uterus. As long as my estrogen is high enough and things are in balance I think I will be fine. E injections might even be the most effective treatment for PMDD, stabilizing those levels so the progesterone doesn’t make me wanna unalive myself.)

I have some Lady Test stashed away (50mg/mL test cyp) and a bottle of E cyp (100mg/mL) on the way that should be here in the coming week. My plan is to inject the E twice a week, 1mg every Monday morning and again on Thursday night. I plan to run that for 2-3 months and then assess where I’m at, as far as numbers but most importantly, feels. I then plan to start the low dose testosterone injections (1mg EOD) as the final piece of the puzzle.

While waiting for the E cyp to get here, I ordered a cream off of Amazon to apply to my lady bits. I just tried one baby dose to see how it would feel. (Recommended dose is two pumps, I used half a pump before the gym.) The cream contains progesterone, estriol, and estradiol. When I got home and the man and I had our post-gym f*ck, I was the wettest and most sensitive I have been in a long time. Like even more intense than ovulation has been. This excited me. I might end up being a super-responder and get to stay at very low doses of these hormones to feel better, which would not surprise me considering how small I am and how sensitive to substances I have always been.

If you made it to the end here, thanks for reading. I am hoping to get feedback along the way, should I run into any problems, and maybe I could even help some others in the process. I have seen a good number of men in here express interest in HRT/TRT for their wives, and if my contribution here can help even one woman feel better and more comfortable in her own skin, then publicizing my experience will have been 100% worth it.

I will keep this log updated with every notable thing that happens along the way.
 
Thanks for making a log, this will help a lot of people. Maybe even help yourself too, I always see things clearly when it’s written down- especially when I want to look back in time and compare results month to month or so.

Thanks for your contributions. The forum is lacking in the HRT area.
 
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Thanks for making a log, this will help a lot of people. Maybe even help yourself too, I always see things clearly when it’s written down- especially when I want to look back in time and compare results month to month or so.

Thanks for your contributions. The forum is lacking in the HRT area.
Absolutely! I’m happy to do it and I know I’ll need to reference it a bunch along the way. :)
 
This is what my lady is on. We worked up to this slowly under clinic supervision and bloodwork every 6 weeks. She's stable on this now. Our sex life is everything either of us could have imagined. She's happier and feels very stable emotionally.
 

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This is where I’m going to be detailing my HRT journey, as I believe I am in the early stages of perimenopause and I believe the best approach to improve my quality of life is to treat the hormones (the cause) and not just the symptoms.

Some background: I am 38. From childhood onward, I have always had a zesty libido. Medical professionals would call it hypersexuality due to childhood trauma, but that part isn’t important. The fact is, my sexuality has always been a core part of my being, so much so that I even made a career of it (camming) so I could capitalize on that part of me. Never had a boyfriend who could keep up with me until the guy I’m with now. We’ve been together for nearly 3.5 years and he’s been the only one who could give me a run for my money in that department. His libido has only intensified since playing with AAS. We generally do the deed 3x/day.

Last month’s cycle was the first cycle where I felt the physical effects of my hormones declining. It happened suddenly. After ovulation, I just dried up. I’d already been experiencing loss of energy, brain fog, and an overall feeling that my well-being was declining. I didn’t take any of it seriously enough until my pussy was like “yeah girl, I know you’re horny but I just can’t make any lubrication for ya.” It was depressing, to say the least. I ordered blood tests to see wtf is going on. My initial plan was TRT. I got my results back to find that my estrogen is alarmingly low for my age (I’m talking post-menopausal levels.) My testosterone and progesterone are on the lower end of the normal range, but nowhere near the urgency of my estrogen levels. There are supplements I have for vaginal dryness and they do help a lot on the days that I take them (slippery elm bark is the most notable one) but that isn’t good enough for me. And I can’t start with TRT now, with my e2 being as low as it is. I’d be at risk of virilization, and I wish to preserve my precious femininity at all costs. So the estrogen must come first. (And I know I need to supplement progesterone too, which I will be doing topically. I need to be careful with that one though, as I am particularly sensitive to the progesterone surge in the luteal phase of my cycle. If you’re not familiar with PMDD, it’s scary. Like PMS but more intense and for a bit longer. It can make one feel suicidal, it’s so intense. When I am 10 days out from my expected period is when I start to spiral. So I will proceed with caution there, but I do know I will be needing some to protect my uterus. As long as my estrogen is high enough and things are in balance I think I will be fine. E injections might even be the most effective treatment for PMDD, stabilizing those levels so the progesterone doesn’t make me wanna unalive myself.)

I have some Lady Test stashed away (50mg/mL test cyp) and a bottle of E cyp (100mg/mL) on the way that should be here in the coming week. My plan is to inject the E twice a week, 1mg every Monday morning and again on Thursday night. I plan to run that for 2-3 months and then assess where I’m at, as far as numbers but most importantly, feels. I then plan to start the low dose testosterone injections (1mg EOD) as the final piece of the puzzle.

While waiting for the E cyp to get here, I ordered a cream off of Amazon to apply to my lady bits. I just tried one baby dose to see how it would feel. (Recommended dose is two pumps, I used half a pump before the gym.) The cream contains progesterone, estriol, and estradiol. When I got home and the man and I had our post-gym f*ck, I was the wettest and most sensitive I have been in a long time. Like even more intense than ovulation has been. This excited me. I might end up being a super-responder and get to stay at very low doses of these hormones to feel better, which would not surprise me considering how small I am and how sensitive to substances I have always been.

If you made it to the end here, thanks for reading. I am hoping to get feedback along the way, should I run into any problems, and maybe I could even help some others in the process. I have seen a good number of men in here express interest in HRT/TRT for their wives, and if my contribution here can help even one woman feel better and more comfortable in her own skin, then publicizing my experience will have been 100% worth it.

I will keep this log updated with every notable thing that happens along the way.
I am certain any woman considering HRT would love to have some idea of blood panels to pursue (not expecting MD level insights but you have obviously done your research).

The Peter Attia podcast is the closest I have come to hearing useful info on HRT for women but I always listen to him when driving (so my notes are lacking...lol).

It's remarkable and kinda criminal how under treated women are (it's hard enough for a man to get TRT...and we just gotta worry about Test slowing meandering downward on a country road. Women get to experience a fucking roller coaster..
And then finally hormones driving off a cliff and the well suddenly run dry...).

Honestly, my hypothesis is that perimenopause and menopause are pretty much the final dagger in any even remotely fragile (and even plenty of stable) relationships/long term marriages (wife suddenly wakes up one day to pursue happiness and get away from the demon she married....all the while unaware she didn't feel that way 6 months or even 6 weeks ago...'cause she didn't feel that way...hormones cause wacky fucking emotional changes as we all see on this board)...pretty sure my E2 is too high right now with all this rambling introspection I have done today....lol.

As simple as TRT is, I have not been able to fathom how women live with monthly hormonal shifts...+/-pregnancy in between....only to have it all fucking yanked out completely at menopause.

My wife refuses to discuss the obvious perimenopausal signs she has. I'd be fine with that except I'm sure it's also that she has no idea what to even discuss with her doctor...who would also probably meet her with a blank stare if she brought up treating anything perimenopausal-related.

It's a wonder places like MESO exist...people just fucking seeking to be the best versions of themselves "underground" because the medical community is anti-HRT. (I get very few of us are "just doing TRT"....but the principle applies).

Sorry for another daily rant (but in a better thread... LMFAO). I'm recovering from orthopedic surgery...work will return to my life focus in the next 48 hours and I'll stop going on these tangents.

If my "man-rant" seems misogynistic or is invading a space for the ladies to engage in the topic, I apologize for that...it just happens to be a timely topic in my life because I'm primarily empathetic to my wife's hidden struggle that she refuses to tackle (I can apply my "man-reasons" for why that is, but she won't tell me...aside from claiming she "must be getting too old for me"...which just sucks to hear because that couldn't be further from the truth).

She sees what TRT has done for me...(Over 100+ lbs. lost, using muscles I never knew I had, and ALMOST wearing clothes I could wear in high school)...and she likes that result...but I won't get into the myriad of responses I have gotten from her when I suggest she, too, does not have to suffer the far more devastating hormonal changes that come with menopause (none of the responses are positive... LMFAO).

Good luck with your progress!
 
This is what my lady is on. We worked up to this slowly under clinic supervision and bloodwork every 6 weeks. She's stable on this now. Our sex life is everything either of us could have imagined. She's happier and feels very stable emotionally.
Do you know what her E and T levels were before she started? And what were her starting doses? Also, injecting once a week makes me nervous, hence a higher frequency in my plan. But I am assuming she doesn’t experience any significant sides?
 
This is where I’m going to be detailing my HRT journey, as I believe I am in the early stages of perimenopause and I believe the best approach to improve my quality of life is to treat the hormones (the cause) and not just the symptoms.

Some background: I am 38. From childhood onward, I have always had a zesty libido. Medical professionals would call it hypersexuality due to childhood trauma, but that part isn’t important. The fact is, my sexuality has always been a core part of my being, so much so that I even made a career of it (camming) so I could capitalize on that part of me. Never had a boyfriend who could keep up with me until the guy I’m with now. We’ve been together for nearly 3.5 years and he’s been the only one who could give me a run for my money in that department. His libido has only intensified since playing with AAS. We generally do the deed 3x/day.

Last month’s cycle was the first cycle where I felt the physical effects of my hormones declining. It happened suddenly. After ovulation, I just dried up. I’d already been experiencing loss of energy, brain fog, and an overall feeling that my well-being was declining. I didn’t take any of it seriously enough until my pussy was like “yeah girl, I know you’re horny but I just can’t make any lubrication for ya.” It was depressing, to say the least. I ordered blood tests to see wtf is going on. My initial plan was TRT. I got my results back to find that my estrogen is alarmingly low for my age (I’m talking post-menopausal levels.) My testosterone and progesterone are on the lower end of the normal range, but nowhere near the urgency of my estrogen levels. There are supplements I have for vaginal dryness and they do help a lot on the days that I take them (slippery elm bark is the most notable one) but that isn’t good enough for me. And I can’t start with TRT now, with my e2 being as low as it is. I’d be at risk of virilization, and I wish to preserve my precious femininity at all costs. So the estrogen must come first. (And I know I need to supplement progesterone too, which I will be doing topically. I need to be careful with that one though, as I am particularly sensitive to the progesterone surge in the luteal phase of my cycle. If you’re not familiar with PMDD, it’s scary. Like PMS but more intense and for a bit longer. It can make one feel suicidal, it’s so intense. When I am 10 days out from my expected period is when I start to spiral. So I will proceed with caution there, but I do know I will be needing some to protect my uterus. As long as my estrogen is high enough and things are in balance I think I will be fine. E injections might even be the most effective treatment for PMDD, stabilizing those levels so the progesterone doesn’t make me wanna unalive myself.)

I have some Lady Test stashed away (50mg/mL test cyp) and a bottle of E cyp (100mg/mL) on the way that should be here in the coming week. My plan is to inject the E twice a week, 1mg every Monday morning and again on Thursday night. I plan to run that for 2-3 months and then assess where I’m at, as far as numbers but most importantly, feels. I then plan to start the low dose testosterone injections (1mg EOD) as the final piece of the puzzle.

While waiting for the E cyp to get here, I ordered a cream off of Amazon to apply to my lady bits. I just tried one baby dose to see how it would feel. (Recommended dose is two pumps, I used half a pump before the gym.) The cream contains progesterone, estriol, and estradiol. When I got home and the man and I had our post-gym f*ck, I was the wettest and most sensitive I have been in a long time. Like even more intense than ovulation has been. This excited me. I might end up being a super-responder and get to stay at very low doses of these hormones to feel better, which would not surprise me considering how small I am and how sensitive to substances I have always been.

If you made it to the end here, thanks for reading. I am hoping to get feedback along the way, should I run into any problems, and maybe I could even help some others in the process. I have seen a good number of men in here express interest in HRT/TRT for their wives, and if my contribution here can help even one woman feel better and more comfortable in her own skin, then publicizing my experience will have been 100% worth it.

I will keep this log updated with every notable thing that happens along the way.
Thanks for your thread. Can you share blood work results you have corresponding to point in cycle when pulled?

Have you considered a consult with Dr Saya/Defy Medical to get a medical opinion. His I value.

Why start off DIY instead of with medical supervision first?

Sorry I missed it if you are in the medical field.

Best wishes.
 
Thanks for your thread. Can you share blood work results you have corresponding to point in cycle when pulled?

Have you considered a consult with Dr Saya/Defy Medical to get a medical opinion. His I value.

Why start off DIY instead of with medical supervision first?

Sorry I missed it if you are in the medical field.

Best wishes.
Of course! I got my blood work pulled on day 3 of my cycle (follicular phase).
Total test: 15.7 ng/dL
Free test: 1.1 pg/mL
Sensitive e2: 13.3 pg/mL
Progesterone: 0.3 ng/mL
DHEA: 158 ng/dL
LH: 3.8 mIU/mL
FSH: 10.2 mIU/mL
TSH: 1.74 uIU/mL

The reason I’m jumping straight to DIY is cost, really. I have heard great things about Defy and also about Hormonesforme (I’ve watched Ryan Root on YouTube and he clearly knows his shit.)

Thank you
 
Of course! I got my blood work pulled on day 3 of my cycle (follicular phase).
Total test: 15.7 ng/dL
Free test: 1.1 pg/mL
Sensitive e2: 13.3 pg/mL
Progesterone: 0.3 ng/mL
DHEA: 158 ng/dL
LH: 3.8 mIU/mL
FSH: 10.2 mIU/mL
TSH: 1.74 uIU/mL

The reason I’m jumping straight to DIY is cost, really. I have heard great things about Defy and also about Hormonesforme (I’ve watched Ryan Root on YouTube and he clearly knows his shit.)

Thank you
Thanks for sharing. Very helpful.

With all due respect, Saya is an MD with many years of clinical experience. Very knowledgeable.

Ryan Root I am sure is a nice dude and not a practicing physician. He has some fun takes though and clearly has experience with anabolics.

I respect your decision; however with HRT it is helpful to start off under the right mentor then finally go off on your own. I get the $$ part. You may want to run the math (if you haven't) on a place like Defy. You can bring your own blood work and they also offer one off consults pretty cheap as well. Just an idea.
 
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I am certain any woman considering HRT would love to have some idea of blood panels to pursue (not expecting MD level insights but you have obviously done your research).

The Peter Attia podcast is the closest I have come to hearing useful info on HRT for women but I always listen to him when driving (so my notes are lacking...lol).

It's remarkable and kinda criminal how under treated women are (it's hard enough for a man to get TRT...and we just gotta worry about Test slowing meandering downward on a country road. Women get to experience a fucking roller coaster..
And then finally hormones driving off a cliff and the well suddenly run dry...).

Honestly, my hypothesis is that perimenopause and menopause are pretty much the final dagger in any even remotely fragile (and even plenty of stable) relationships/long term marriages (wife suddenly wakes up one day to pursue happiness and get away from the demon she married....all the while unaware she didn't feel that way 6 months or even 6 weeks ago...'cause she didn't feel that way...hormones cause wacky fucking emotional changes as we all see on this board)...pretty sure my E2 is too high right now with all this rambling introspection I have done today....lol.

As simple as TRT is, I have not been able to fathom how women live with monthly hormonal shifts...+/-pregnancy in between....only to have it all fucking yanked out completely at menopause.

My wife refuses to discuss the obvious perimenopausal signs she has. I'd be fine with that except I'm sure it's also that she has no idea what to even discuss with her doctor...who would also probably meet her with a blank stare if she brought up treating anything perimenopausal-related.

It's a wonder places like MESO exist...people just fucking seeking to be the best versions of themselves "underground" because the medical community is anti-HRT. (I get very few of us are "just doing TRT"....but the principle applies).

Sorry for another daily rant (but in a better thread... LMFAO). I'm recovering from orthopedic surgery...work will return to my life focus in the next 48 hours and I'll stop going on these tangents.

If my "man-rant" seems misogynistic or is invading a space for the ladies to engage in the topic, I apologize for that...it just happens to be a timely topic in my life because I'm primarily empathetic to my wife's hidden struggle that she refuses to tackle (I can apply my "man-reasons" for why that is, but she won't tell me...aside from claiming she "must be getting too old for me"...which just sucks to hear because that couldn't be further from the truth).

She sees what TRT has done for me...(Over 100+ lbs. lost, using muscles I never knew I had, and ALMOST wearing clothes I could wear in high school)...and she likes that result...but I won't get into the myriad of responses I have gotten from her when I suggest she, too, does not have to suffer the far more devastating hormonal changes that come with menopause (none of the responses are positive... LMFAO).

Good luck with your progress!
I appreciate your “man rant” and I didn’t perceive it as misogynistic in the slightest! As far as blood panels to pursue, I took a look at estrogen, testosterone, progesterone, DHEA, LH, FSH, and a thyroid panel. I’m sure there’s more I could’ve done but this seemed like enough to start (they took 3 fat vials of blood from me, and I am so thankful my man drove, I got so fuggin dizzy on the way home.)

Yes, peri is oftentimes a time that’ll make or break a couple that aren’t on stable ground. Really thankful that B is supportive of my journey, and he’s been dealing with the vendors/transactions for me, picked out the insulin syringes for me, etc.

Being a hormonal woman is fackin exhausting and this might be the life hack I’ve been looking for. We really do get the shit end of the stick when it comes to this stuff (the rollercoaster and the medical care.) I’m beyond excited to get the ball rolling on all of this and find some relief.

I sympathize with your woman and her feeling of being “too old for you.” It sucks to feel inadequate while the man is enjoying optimal libido, it gets us in our heads and the dark spiraling thoughts are hard to shake at times. I do hope that one day she is more receptive to HRT, it has been life changing for so many.

Good luck to you both :)
 
I am certain any woman considering HRT would love to have some idea of blood panels to pursue (not expecting MD level insights but you have obviously done your research).

The Peter Attia podcast is the closest I have come to hearing useful info on HRT for women but I always listen to him when driving (so my notes are lacking...lol).

It's remarkable and kinda criminal how under treated women are (it's hard enough for a man to get TRT...and we just gotta worry about Test slowing meandering downward on a country road. Women get to experience a fucking roller coaster..
And then finally hormones driving off a cliff and the well suddenly run dry...).

Honestly, my hypothesis is that perimenopause and menopause are pretty much the final dagger in any even remotely fragile (and even plenty of stable) relationships/long term marriages (wife suddenly wakes up one day to pursue happiness and get away from the demon she married....all the while unaware she didn't feel that way 6 months or even 6 weeks ago...'cause she didn't feel that way...hormones cause wacky fucking emotional changes as we all see on this board)...pretty sure my E2 is too high right now with all this rambling introspection I have done today....lol.

As simple as TRT is, I have not been able to fathom how women live with monthly hormonal shifts...+/-pregnancy in between....only to have it all fucking yanked out completely at menopause.

My wife refuses to discuss the obvious perimenopausal signs she has. I'd be fine with that except I'm sure it's also that she has no idea what to even discuss with her doctor...who would also probably meet her with a blank stare if she brought up treating anything perimenopausal-related.

It's a wonder places like MESO exist...people just fucking seeking to be the best versions of themselves "underground" because the medical community is anti-HRT. (I get very few of us are "just doing TRT"....but the principle applies).

Sorry for another daily rant (but in a better thread... LMFAO). I'm recovering from orthopedic surgery...work will return to my life focus in the next 48 hours and I'll stop going on these tangents.

If my "man-rant" seems misogynistic or is invading a space for the ladies to engage in the topic, I apologize for that...it just happens to be a timely topic in my life because I'm primarily empathetic to my wife's hidden struggle that she refuses to tackle (I can apply my "man-reasons" for why that is, but she won't tell me...aside from claiming she "must be getting too old for me"...which just sucks to hear because that couldn't be further from the truth).

She sees what TRT has done for me...(Over 100+ lbs. lost, using muscles I never knew I had, and ALMOST wearing clothes I could wear in high school)...and she likes that result...but I won't get into the myriad of responses I have gotten from her when I suggest she, too, does not have to suffer the far more devastating hormonal changes that come with menopause (none of the responses are positive... LMFAO).

Good luck with your progress!
Man, I so much want to go into solution space on this. But I know it ain't the place. You know how I feel about you Brother.


View: https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg
 
You may want to run the math (if you haven't) on a place like Defy. You can bring your own blood work and they also offer one off consults pretty cheap as well. Just an idea.
As of right now I am just able to afford the blood work on a regular basis (keeping that Fitomics subscription) while I’m transitioning out of camming and into another line of work, while also keeping two teenaged boys fed and trying to pay off these damn credit cards. I dug myself into a hole while experiencing some low lows. :(
 
As of right now I am just able to afford the blood work on a regular basis (keeping that Fitomics subscription) while I’m transitioning out of camming and into another line of work, while also keeping two teenaged boys fed and trying to pay off these damn credit cards. I dug myself into a hole while experiencing some low lows. :(
Understood and I will keep my big mouth shut. Best wishes to you and your family.
 
Understood and I will keep my big mouth shut. Best wishes to you and your family.
You’re good haha. Thankfully r/trt_females has a lot of ladies who use Defy and I’ve learned a lot from others’ experiences. It’s important to me that my research is thorough and I start low and slow, I don’t take this stuff lightly! :) I appreciate you @readalot, you are a gem to this community and I can tell you have a big heart. My bf is quite fond of you as well.
 
Do you know what her E and T levels were before she started? And what were her starting doses? Also, injecting once a week makes me nervous, hence a higher frequency in my plan. But I am assuming she doesn’t experience any significant sides?
I know we have access to that. I will look into it this evening. As far as weekly dosing, I think that matters more at larger doses such as male trt doses. I won't directly speak for her, but I will say she is very pleasant to be around. So much so, that I can't wait to come home from work and see her everyday.
 
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