How do you know when you're ready to join the dark side?

[hellerhiwater]

The language you use gives off such bad vibes I hope you know that.

I hate listening to people who lost weight talking about their past selves as a fatass or using other self deprecating terms like you did here. It's like they imagine that their past self is the new shy kid at school and they want to get the approval of other kids picking on him.

You were still yourself when you were fatter and you deserved respect just like you deserve respect right now. There is a big difference in calling your past self a "fat drunk" and saying "I used to have an overeating and drinking problem".


Stop doing this. Nobody is "suffering" by reading a thread that they can close on their browser in 1 second. Act like you belong man. You're literally inviting disrespect.


It's fine to dig for anecdotal evidence, but you sound like you are obsessed with it, "drooling" over doing roids but not actually taking them for 10 years is crazy.

We're talking about testosterone here, we know exactly how it works, this isn't some ultra rare steroid like stenbolone or w/e where information about it is scarce.

i know this isnt the time or place but i really wanted to share my sincere appreciation for your thought process, willingness to respond and your communication style. a nice little "faith in humanity" boost for the day. thanks for sharing your thoughts broseph

im a new addition to the "community" at large and the amount of weirdness surrounding shame, self-image and the general state of being a fat human has been kind of overwhelming. really awesome to me that you cut right thru it all to strike at the heart of the matter; self worth and what you do with it.

ok im done. thanks for your time.

 

[hellerhiwater]

Mr. Shitter,

I didn't do my due diligence and cautiously read every reply so apologies in advance if this has been stated already.

Get a baseline. Grab some bloodwork, journal your feelings upon waking and going to bed for like a week, and see where exactly you're at. As others have said, this isn't rocket surgery, hormones and how they work are known things and its kinda simple really. But it doesn't start and stop at testosterone.

You may have some sort of hormonal dysregulation that is (relatively) unrelated to sex hormones that is causing some of the pain, insecurity, and unease you're struggling with. If this is the case, adding a heaping helping of androgens may just make it all worse.

As I entered the self-managed trt space (i was working with a bad doctor, and am now managed by an endocrinologist) one thing I saw repeated over and over again is "[gear] doesn't create [emotional problems] it just amplifies what is already there."

Personally, I have found this to be true in all aspects except one; my generalized anxiety went away. Granted my case is a little different, my testosterone levels dropped down to below 40 ng/dL with no outside help aside from my lack of activity and poor sleep. So in my opinion the anxiety going away doesn't contradict the "amplify what's already there" idea.

Sorry, this has gotten away from me. tl;dr get labs, consult a doctor, figure out if there is anything actually going on. if there is, address it. if there is not, address your self esteem and self image issues SEPARATELY from your journey to the dark side.

your worthiness is tied to your character and actions--nothing else. give yourself some credit for surviving this far, committing to a change and executing on it. that's really great homie, and worthy of a pat on the back