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Anabolic Steroids

How do you know when you're ready to join the dark side?

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Angryshitter

New Member
For context. I am almost 31, 190lbs @ 5'10" and have been lifting for years and spinning my wheels. Last time I tested my testosterone it came back at 510ng/dl. All other markers came back smack dab in the middle of the range. I'm as average as average gets..

- Long story short I used to be a fat.
- Got dumped by my ex 4-5 years ago.
- Gym rat ever since
- happy i lost the fat but not happy with muscle
- most likely not at my genetic limit because I was afraid to bulk. Or at least this Is my only answer as to why I've been spinning my wheels. Because The effort was DEFINITELY there. Lol

-so to combat this mental hurdle i actually just had loose skin removal with surgery so I can more accurately assess my body fat. (Was Hard mentally for me tell tell if it was fat or loose skin. $16k surgery- so I definitely take this serious)

- also tore My bicep back in July. So I've been out of the gym recovering from both surgeries. What little muscle I had seems to be all gone now..

-ive been holding off on steroids to have kids and to reach my genetic limit so i can do it the "right way" But I'll probably never have kids at this point, too expensive. And Im getting old, and im tired of imagining gains when i look in the mirror. especially after being injured and seeing what little gains I had fade away. At this point maybe it's better to let the gear slingshot me to my peak physique and then cruise off into the sunset and maintain those gains on some trt till the day I die.

Main reason I want to hop on trt so I can have some masculinizing effects. AND blast and cruise (obviously) lol i know I'm gonna sound like SUCH a pussy. Lol but i have some struggles within myself..
truthfully, I get treated like a child. I constantly am underestimated by EVERYONE. and honestly i understand why... Which is why it has made me super self conscious. Which has now made the problem worse.
For starters one problem i have is i have a soft voice... i have to scream for guys at work to hear me over the sound of a truck idling or the wind blowing and even then it's like nobody can hear me. But other people seem to be able to whisper and you can hear them clear as day. So I'm hoping a little test can add some bass to my voice.
People also always think I'm way younger than I really am. You might think this is a good thing. But as a man it sucks. I always get the shit jobs at work. I get no respect. I constantly have to prove myself. Always treated as the new guy, it's beyond frustrating. And even if I put my foot down, the usual response is "don't be a pussy" and end up with even less respect. but I've noticed other dudes who are younger but look old as fuck or just more manly overall. But When They complain about something or put their foot down and all of a sudden everyone listens and repects what they have to say if something isn't fair or they don't like something. Litterally even if it's the same exact thing I bitch about. Lol its wild.. i work with different people constantly and it's the same problem. So it has to be me...
Even my girlfriend's mother will flat out just ignore me when i talk and she will just start a conversation with anyone else. Lol. I dont think she means to be mean or rude. Its just interesting how accross the board i really am truly invisible.. with everyone except my girlfriend. And if it wasn't for her I'd 1000% already be on it at this point.

to be honest I don't ever complain. I work my ass off and i eat some serious shit thaf other people would cry over so that i dont give anyone a reason to talk down to me but it really really bothers me. I want to be the one doing the "fucking" for a change.. I want people to sit up straight when I walk into the room.

I noticed this when i was like 22yrs old I did a sarm only cycle (dumb i know but the guy at my local supplement store told me it wasnt suppresive and i belived him sadly)

But for those few months i was on it that seem to really transform me and my whole demeanor. The way people treated me was night and day different. Just from that short little burst. I've been searching for that feeling ever since. It really completed me and filled that "missing piece" within myself. My voice had more authority behind it. I had more purpose in my step. People gave me more respect. Girls noticed me. It felt like I was actually a member of society for once lol.
As someone whos bounced around from fat, to to athletic to crashing my hormones and getting gyno and bouncing back to natty I have a very clear observation on how looks is EVERYTHING and the power of hormones is HUGE. It taught me alot..

At this point I truthfully feel like it would solve all my problems. Lol And for some people it seems like its the ultimate cheat code to success. And other people say it's a trap and it's going to ruin your life and turn you gay and give you gyno and have heart failure at 45 for gains a smidgen better then creatine. Lol

I can't tell if people are just gate keeping it and it's a miracle or if it really is a trap and I'll end up dying early and a slave to the needle for barely any gains. Lol

I'm not expecting to be Chris bumstead. I just want to turn heads and be noticed and respected.
I'll gladly pin this shit. I guess I just wonder is the juice worth the squeeze? I'm just afraid of making this lifelong choice and overlooking some variables that Ill wish I took into consideration years down the road. I'm afraid of regret. But I'm also afraid of regretting not starting sooner.

-How has it changed your life?
-How long have you been on it?
-Why did you start?
-do you regret it?
-were you able to still have kids?
-how did it help or hurt your social life?
 
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Dude your self esteem is completely cooked.

Hormones would probably help but at the end of the day your self image is going to continue limiting you even if you have 3000 ng/dL, I hope you know that.

I read your full post, if you think steroids would really be that beneficial what's stopping you from just getting started?

At this point I truthfully feel like it would solve all my problems. Lol And for some people it seems like its the ultimate cheat code to success. And other people say it's a trap and it's going to ruin your life and turn you gay and give you gyno and have heart failure at 45 for gains a smidgen better then creatine. Lol
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This paragraph irritated me. Why does it matter what "some people say"? Have you taken the time to read the basics about how they work? If you did then there wouldn't be any reason to put weight on what "people" say.

Your questions about fertility and side effects are easily googleable...
 
You're ready when you've properly researched the drugs, how to use them, the pros & cons - and then made an informed decision if this is right for you long term. Remember this is potentially (and if you're blast and cruising - more likely than not) a life long commitment. Doing this now for some borrowed muscle and strength means you will pinning yourself with test until youre into your 70s...

It also may impact future relationships; some women won't give you a second look once they find out you use gear - and you can't hide it for very long. Plus fertility - if they want kids that's you likely out of the equation

But if you consider all those things and feel the benefits outweigh them. You're a adult. Crank up the test, get jacked as fook lad
 
mikeh1998 said:
Dude your self esteem is completely cooked.

Hormones would probably help but at the end of the day your self image is going to continue limiting you even if you have 3000 ng/dL, I hope you know that.

I read your full post, if you think steroids would really be that beneficial what's stopping you from just getting started?


This paragraph irritated me. Why does it matter what "some people say"? Have you taken the time to read the basics about how they work? If you did then there wouldn't be any reason to put weight on what "people" say.

Your questions about fertility and side effects are easily googleable...
Click to expand...
I appreciate you taking the time to read it all. I know it was alot.
Yes i agree my self esteem is trash. It's as if I'm worse off now then when I was a fat drunk. Funny how that happens. But I get it, i can see how it's not a cure-all.

To be honest you have a very good point. Maybe this post was a little redundant. Which I do apologize for making you suffer through it all lol. But Yes I have done years worth of research on PEDS. Ive been drooling over them my whole 20s. and I know how it works on paper. However it seems to be such a divide among real life user feedback. Which is what I tend to put alot of weight into when I do research. So that's why I go off of what ''some people say" I'm trying to draw an median line in my head of what to expect from the average user. And I figured what better place to ask this question on a bodybuilding forum to help Give me the needed justification to pull the trigger. Lol
 
Dafty said:
You're ready when you've properly researched the drugs, how to use them, the pros & cons - and then made an informed decision if this is right for you long term. Remember this is potentially (and if you're blast and cruising - more likely than not) a life long commitment. Doing this now for some borrowed muscle and strength means you will pinning yourself with test until youre into your 70s...

It also may impact future relationships; some women won't give you a second look once they find out you use gear - and you can't hide it for very long. Plus fertility - if they want kids that's you likely out of the equation

But if you consider all those things and feel the benefits outweigh them. You're a adult. Crank up the test, get jacked as fook lad
Click to expand...
Thank you for this feedback. Is a massive help
 
You got some good answers here already.


Angryshitter said:
However it seems to be such a divide among real life user feedback. Which is what I tend to put alot of weight into when I do research.
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Because, as you know from your research, people respond vastly different, you dont really know until you get on. Some guys have a total personality change, some guys stay the same miserable asshole.This goes for the physical, mental, psychological, good and bad effects of it all and it can depend a lot on the compound and dosages as well.

From what i read, you need to work on yourself, and steroids wont be the key, but it might help on the way if you use it right, or just stay on TRT
 
Angryshitter said:
It's as if I'm worse off now then when I was a fat drunk. Funny how that happens.
Click to expand...
The language you use gives off such bad vibes I hope you know that.

I hate listening to people who lost weight talking about their past selves as a fatass or using other self deprecating terms like you did here. It's like they imagine that their past self is the new shy kid at school and they want to get the approval of other kids picking on him.

You were still yourself when you were fatter and you deserved respect just like you deserve respect right now. There is a big difference in calling your past self a "fat drunk" and saying "I used to have an overeating and drinking problem".

Angryshitter said:
Which I do apologize for making you suffer through it all lol.
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Stop doing this. Nobody is "suffering" by reading a thread that they can close on their browser in 1 second. Act like you belong man. You're literally inviting disrespect.

Angryshitter said:
However it seems to be such a divide among real life user feedback. Which is what I tend to put alot of weight into when I do research.
Click to expand...
It's fine to dig for anecdotal evidence, but you sound like you are obsessed with it, "drooling" over doing roids but not actually taking them for 10 years is crazy.

We're talking about testosterone here, we know exactly how it works, this isn't some ultra rare steroid like stenbolone or w/e where information about it is scarce.
 
eery said:
You got some good answers here already.



Because, as you know from your research, people respond vastly different, you dont really know until you get on. Some guys have a total personality change, some guys stay the same miserable asshole.This goes for the physical, mental, psychological, good and bad effects of it all and it can depend a lot on the compound and dosages as well.

From what i read, you need to work on yourself, and steroids wont be the key, but it might help on the way if you use it right, or just stay on TRT
Click to expand...
Yeah that's a good point. Its vastly different person2person. But It's also why I'm so back and forth on jumping in or not. It is very scary not knowing the outcome. Vs other drugs you can try it. And if you don't like it just don't use it again. With PEDS you kinda gotta commit for a while to reap the benefits. And if it doesn't mix well with me then I'll pay hell coming off. Part of the fear is back when I ran that SARM only cycle when I was early 20s and a dum-dum. I fucked my hormones up so bad. The emotional Rollercoaster was crippling to say the least. Obviously that was an extreme scenario of doing it the complete worst way possible. But that fear still makes me 2nd guess.
 
mikeh1998 said:
The language you use gives off such bad vibes I hope you know that.

I hate listening to people who lost weight talking about their past selves as a fatass or using other self deprecating terms like you did here. It's like they imagine that their past self is the new shy kid at school and they want to get the approval of other kids picking on him.

You were still yourself when you were fatter and you deserved respect just like you deserve respect right now. There is a big difference in calling your past self a "fat drunk" and saying "I used to have an overeating and drinking problem".


Stop doing this. Nobody is "suffering" by reading a thread that they can close on their browser in 1 second. Act like you belong man. You're literally inviting disrespect.


It's fine to dig for anecdotal evidence, but you sound like you are obsessed with it, "drooling" over doing roids but not actually taking them for 10 years is crazy.

We're talking about testosterone here, we know exactly how it works, this isn't some ultra rare steroid like stenbolone or w/e where information about it is scarce.
Click to expand...
Bro I appreciate the tough love. I get it. Truth is I AM in a bad head space right now. Im probably not normally so negative. But keep in mind I haven't lifted anything heavier then 10lbs since the beginning of July. And I've been bed bound this past month when i got my loose skin chopped off. I had back to back surgery So yes the sky is 100% falling in my world. Lol

I have to disagree with you though. #1 i called myself a fat drunk simply to illustrate a picture for you to understand where the beginning of my journey started while trying to use as little words as possible. Because if you cant tell i tend to ramble lol
But since we're on the subject I'll elaborate. In my eyes Being a fat drunk is NOT deserving of respect. It was the most destructive thing imaginable. I was completely disrespectful of my self and to others. Not to mention all the vehicles I've smashed up and money pissed away. Friendships ive destroyed. Plus I fucked up my knee and back and now i cant deadlift or squat for shit. I am so mad at myself.

All of my mid 20s was pretty much all a blur other then cringe memories of me making a fool of myself.
The old me absolutely did NOT deserve respect. I know it deep down in my heart. Which is why I am trying to get as far away from who I used to be as possible.

Also in my opinion It's not depreciating to myself because that's not who I am anymore. The old me long dead. It dosnt pertain to me or who i am. So in my head Its completely seperate. Because the difference of what WAS and wha5 IS is so massive that its genuinely 2 different people And I puts a smile on my face when I get to say that. Because I know I'm NEVER going back to that. I'd rather die.

I think what your talking about is basically when a fat kid makes fat jokes about himself to make light of it before anyone else does. But since im not fat anymore it's not quite the same thing. You know what I mean?

As far as "drooling over it" I'll break this down as well. Maybe my word choice is shit. But anyways.
Like I said when I ran that SARM only cycle in my early 20s it was truly mindblowing for me. (up until I stopped and crashed and burned lol)
After that I learned I had did it entirely wrong which opened the door for me to want more. Knowing I had done it completely wrong makes me want to do it the right way. If that makes sense.

Part of doing things the "right way" was heeding peoples warnings to not fuck with PEDS until your 25 because your brain development. I reached 25 and then the next thing to hold me back was "you should wait till your finished having kids and also hit your genetic limit Or your cheating" lol
So I continued to wait and be a good boy haha fast forward 10 years later I still got that itch. I still don't have kids. I've kinda lost hope on that dream.
and I still haven't hit my genetic potential I'm sure. Which honestly I'm not sure how important that is really.
But anyways as you can see its not that I'm litterally feining for steroids. Obviously I was patient I just meant that i was lurking and educating myself on the subject along the way.
 
Astartes said:
50, 265 lbs, 12%, 6’ even

I’m an OG dude. Ex tier two guy.

I’m not saying don’t start PEDs I’m just giving you the very candid feedback that you asked for.

Temper expectations.

Get diet, mind and routine in order. PEDs will fail you… or rather you will fail to use them effectively otherwise.
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That's fair. And thank you for your feedback.

So you started at 27 and you're now 50. That's a pretty long run.
How many years did it take for you to decide you regret it?

And do you regret it only because it's made you more fixated and critical of your physique? Not from health problems? Emotional or relationship problems? All that stuff pretty good?

Also do you have kids?
 
I decided following that I’ve done everything I can to research the risks and upsides of what I want to take. I then accept the risks because I’ve done as much as I can, if a part of me is worried then I shouldn’t be doing it.
I’m happy to not try everything under the sun but draw a line, I’m willing to try some stuff, not willing to try others. Reason I got into fitness was for to be healthy and I stand by that no matter what supplements I’m taking
 
At the end of the day I feel like if you are very informed do your research and it’s something you’ve been wanting to do and think you can even make money from it then that ca validate it kinda but at the same time the deeper issue seems to be the way you see your self and the way where you obviously really care how people feel about you at least that’s really what it seems like just be careful with drug choice and if your feeling down because it might even make it worse then again I don’t think it’s a for sure thing to happen
 
You are ready for AAS when you've done your research, gotten your diet and training on point and getting proper sleep. Not to mention reaching at least 21 years of age when you are fully grown.

Getting bloodwork done is strongly urged when getting ready to start that long awaited first cycle. The first is right before starting which will be your baseline, another halfway through to assess your body's response, and a final one a few days after last shot of the cycle. These will give you a good idea how you respond to AAS and help plan subsequent cycles including adding other compounds.
 
mikeh1998 said:
The language you use gives off such bad vibes I hope you know that.

I hate listening to people who lost weight talking about their past selves as a fatass or using other self deprecating terms like you did here. It's like they imagine that their past self is the new shy kid at school and they want to get the approval of other kids picking on him.

You were still yourself when you were fatter and you deserved respect just like you deserve respect right now. There is a big difference in calling your past self a "fat drunk" and saying "I used to have an overeating and drinking problem".


Stop doing this. Nobody is "suffering" by reading a thread that they can close on their browser in 1 second. Act like you belong man. You're literally inviting disrespect.


It's fine to dig for anecdotal evidence, but you sound like you are obsessed with it, "drooling" over doing roids but not actually taking them for 10 years is crazy.

We're talking about testosterone here, we know exactly how it works, this isn't some ultra rare steroid like stenbolone or w/e where information about it is scarce.
Click to expand...
stenbolone.......hmm.
well for me it's always been wanting to look a certain way but never being able to get there. I started with trt and just kept becoming more educated and more driven and more educated and more driven and more disciplined and then I realize that the gear really represents a small part of the lifestyle required. I love the discipline, I love my routines, I love continuing to learn about how the body works, I also love refining my training and experiment with my body and how it reacts to different gear as well as different exercises and movements. watching my body become transformed is very rewarding because the amount of work that goes into it is something that many people don't realize they just think you take some gear and your muscular that's it which couldn't be further from the truth. the journey is awesome people on this forum have helped me so much and I'm appreciative to be around like-minded people and to be honest with you I don't give a shit what anybody thinks, I only care about what I think about myself because if I'm the best version of myself for myself I can be a great version of myself to everybody around me and I really like that.
 
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