Where the fuck did I go wrong?

[Pineapples4Puss]

little background about me. I’m 23. Graduated college last year. Work my balls off. Make fantastic money. Just bought my dream car. Really genuine and good guy. I wake up go to work and come home and saw my girlfriend and went to the gym. Went on dates. Got her nice things. She’s still in college so not a lot of money considering what I do she lives a pretty awesome life for being in college. I’m making 100k+ right now so we live a pretty fucking good life considering our age and situation. I’m going back to school for my nurse anesthetist license here in a year or so. I’m not some fuck around loser. I’m successful and strive to be better and a solid man.

She ends up fucking some 21 year old ghetto fuck college kid. I worked my ass off for the last 3 years for this girl. I really did love her and cared for her. I never thought I’d want a family and kids but she changed that in me. I really enjoyed every moment. I was just happy.

I bought a absolutely gorgeous rose gold 2.5 karat diamond ring and plane tickets to Hawaii with helicopter rides and everything for New Years as a congrats for graduating.

our relationship wasn’t perfect. But we were happy and best friends. We did everything together. But I don’t understand how the fuck you can Throw away years of your life with someone who was supporting you through EVERYTHING.

I’m genuinely so mad at the world. Everything I have been working towards this last year was just thrown in my face and I feel like a dumb fuck. I can’t focus on anything and don’t give a fuck about anything. I’ve suffered from depression my entire life and she helped me alot through it all. Even when I had no direction. I just don’t understand. I’m not sure what to do. Everything I’ve been doing I just hate now. No focus what so ever…

 

[Zerg]

Your a lucky man. You could have found this out after you bought the cow. Just the retainer would have been 10k.

 

[MadBret]

I'm sorry, bud. It's tough when someone you really care about shits on you and ruins your trust that way.

I don't know what you should do but I do know that you shouldn't make your life worse with self destructive behavior. Stay strong and try to focus on things to make yourself better and happier.

Maybe some strange. Maybe puff a little ganja to help take your mind off the bullshit.

Whatever you do, hang in there brother.

Life is hard and sometimes you need to really work to put a smile on. Keep your head up and with time, this shit will be behind you and it won't be the all consuming mess that it is now.

Stay strong, bro.

 

[Ferret]

Bet she left you for a well endowed Ghetto Dude!

 

[Pineapples4Puss]

Your a lucky man. You could have found this out after you bought the cow. Just the retainer would have been 10k.

Hahahaha I knew you guys wouldn’t disappoint…

I'm sorry, bud. It's tough when someone you really care about shits on you and ruins your trust that way.

I don't know what you should do but I do know that you shouldn't make your life worse with self destructive behavior. Stay strong and try to focus on things to make yourself better and happier.

Maybe some strange. Maybe puff a little ganja to help take your mind off the bullshit.

Whatever you do, hang in there brother.

Life is hard and sometimes you need to really work to put a smile on. Keep your head up and with time, this shit will be behind you and it won't be the all consuming mess that it is now.

Stay strong, bro.

Appreciate you man. I feel like the biggest bitch. I’m trying to work and train. I can’t stick to a diet. Just kinda been drinking every weekend and hanging with some friends.

fucking girls on the weekend ain’t even fun.

this week I’m going to try and just put the blinders on.

 

[Pineapples4Puss]

Bet she left you for a well endowed Ghetto Dude!

He’s Mexican not black…

if we were talking about dicks.

also not ghetto because he’s Mexican. He just happens to be ghetto… and Mexican. To be clear to my essays.

 

[Dead]

This is just most woman dude. Read my thread fairly similar but you got it a lot worse. Atleast I knew this chick was sort of a hoe if I went through what u did it would’ve serious fucked me up.

I don’t think I’ll ever trust a relationship again. This is just human nature when it comes to women at this point.

it’s ridiculous how they have no sense of integrity I’m not trying to be sexist I’m trying to be objective. It just so happens this seems to be the case.

I was putting so much effort into my “relationship” and it drove her to treat me like shit. I pulled back and started being a huge dick having an attitude being rude paying no attention to the kid literally being complete scum. And now she’s trying to move in with me. It makes my head spin.

ive read a bit about the psychology of relationships. And it seems more realistic to see that it’s all about who likes the other person more. And the more effort you put into a relationship with a woman the more she sees she has “got you” and stops trying and loses attraction.

the less effort you put in the more they think oh shit I’m losing this person and they start to get those feelings again. It’s a fuckin joke. I unfortunately am someone who feels it’s easier to put effort into a relationship and invest.

but that kills my relationships every time. The only time this shit lasts is when I just back off and not give a shit. Which is hard for me because then I see no point in any of it at all.

relationships seem to be a constant game of give just enough attention to keep around and stay distant enough to not make the other person feel loss of that challenge of getting you.

too much effort if you ask me.
I don’t think anybody in life is ready to settle until mid 30s. Atleast unless you’re a male. Again not sexist but these are two different biological entities. And one of them seems to be unable to commit.

my perspective from now on is get myself right. And if ever the “right girl” comes a long. It’s gonna take months of not years for me to even consider investing in ever again.

shit I’m over here crying about my problem with this hoe and there are people in married relationships who have this shit done to them.

social media fucked everything up. This is how it is now. I don’t think I could see any chick as more than just a sexual release at this point.
It sucks because I never was that type of person. But it seems that it doesn’t matter how much this person may seem genuine or intelligent or have a good career or what... that this type of shit isn’t really too far outside of the realm of possibility. I really don’t wanna believe most chicks are hoes because it would be cool to invest in life with someone by my side. But at this point in my life I just don’t see that investment as safe anymore

 

[MadBret]

Hahahaha I knew you guys wouldn’t disappoint…


Appreciate you man. I feel like the biggest bitch. I’m trying to work and train. I can’t stick to a diet. Just kinda been drinking every weekend and hanging with some friends.

fucking girls on the weekend ain’t even fun.

this week I’m going to try and just put the blinders on.

It don't matter how big or tough we are. When you have feelings for a women and they do you that way, it's some hard shit to fathom.

You aren't a bitch, bro. Your human.

Hang in there, buddy. Shit will get better with time.

 

[Dead]

little background about me. I’m 23. Graduated college last year. Work my balls off. Make fantastic money. Just bought my dream car. Really genuine and good guy. I wake up go to work and come home and saw my girlfriend and went to the gym. Went on dates. Got her nice things. She’s still in college so not a lot of money considering what I do she lives a pretty awesome life for being in college. I’m making 100k+ right now so we live a pretty fucking good life considering our age and situation. I’m going back to school for my nurse anesthetist license here in a year or so. I’m not some fuck around loser. I’m successful and strive to be better and a solid man.

She ends up fucking some 21 year old ghetto fuck college kid. I worked my ass off for the last 3 years for this girl. I really did love her and cared for her. I never thought I’d want a family and kids but she changed that in me. I really enjoyed every moment. I was just happy.

I bought a absolutely gorgeous rose gold 2.5 karat diamond ring and plane tickets to Hawaii with helicopter rides and everything for New Years as a congrats for graduating.

our relationship wasn’t perfect. But we were happy and best friends. We did everything together. But I don’t understand how the fuck you can Throw away years of your life with someone who was supporting you through EVERYTHING.

I’m genuinely so mad at the world. Everything I have been working towards this last year was just thrown in my face and I feel like a dumb fuck. I can’t focus on anything and don’t give a fuck about anything. I’ve suffered from depression my entire life and she helped me alot through it all. Even when I had no direction. I just don’t understand. I’m not sure what to do. Everything I’ve been doing I just hate now. No focus what so ever…

Next relationship I get in, I ain’t spending much money if at all on em. They gonna work for it.

Somehow these days when you spend money on a chick they see it as a weakness rather than a gesture

the worse I treat this girl the more willing she is. The nicer I am to her the more she pulls away. And I’m a generous person.

 

[Ferret]

little background about me. I’m 23. Graduated college last year. Work my balls off. Make fantastic money. Just bought my dream car. Really genuine and good guy. I wake up go to work and come home and saw my girlfriend and went to the gym. Went on dates. Got her nice things. She’s still in college so not a lot of money considering what I do she lives a pretty awesome life for being in college. I’m making 100k+ right now so we live a pretty fucking good life considering our age and situation. I’m going back to school for my nurse anesthetist license here in a year or so. I’m not some fuck around loser. I’m successful and strive to be better and a solid man.

She ends up fucking some 21 year old ghetto fuck college kid. I worked my ass off for the last 3 years for this girl. I really did love her and cared for her. I never thought I’d want a family and kids but she changed that in me. I really enjoyed every moment. I was just happy.

I bought a absolutely gorgeous rose gold 2.5 karat diamond ring and plane tickets to Hawaii with helicopter rides and everything for New Years as a congrats for graduating.

our relationship wasn’t perfect. But we were happy and best friends. We did everything together. But I don’t understand how the fuck you can Throw away years of your life with someone who was supporting you through EVERYTHING.

I’m genuinely so mad at the world. Everything I have been working towards this last year was just thrown in my face and I feel like a dumb fuck. I can’t focus on anything and don’t give a fuck about anything. I’ve suffered from depression my entire life and she helped me alot through it all. Even when I had no direction. I just don’t understand. I’m not sure what to do. Everything I’ve been doing I just hate now. No focus what so ever…

Do some steroids, work out... and you can strut your stuff on here and show your muscular ass, and I'm sure many guys on here will find you attractive. For every door closed .... a new one opens! ( your back door )

 

[Demondosage]

Ok, first off let me just say you were with a girl who obviously hasn’t grown up yet and/or felt that she wasn’t on your level, and it probably wasn’t her first time banging some hood rat. Some girls have this thing abt feeling like the guy they’re with is too good for them, that inevitably it won’t last anyways so why not go fuck some degenerate so they can feel appreciate by a lesser being?

second off, you sound too fucking nice and when you combine that with a history of depression and not acting with enough confidence these sort of situations can happen. I’m just being real here. But good news is you dodged a giant bullet!! Now go get a ride or die girl and be happy! You start getting depressed and fucking up with the gym and diet and that cunt is winning, so don’t do that!!! Rise up my man!!

 

[Dead]

I kinda did the same shit. As far as being too nice.

Now I’ve thrown a whole ass fit for 4 days around her and her kid acting annoyed as fuck by the kid.

she’s paying her mom $100 to watch the kid a night early because i was annoyed with it.

meanwhile that $200 ring she wanted for her birthday 3 months ago had her hating my guts.

it’s funny how the more mad they are on the surface the more they put out.

the more you make them feel good and full of attention the less they put out.

the power dynamic between me and her has flip flopped numerous times now

pretty much every chick I ever dated said I looked like an ass hole or a douchebag. And when they found out I wasn’t they went bye bye

maybe I’ve become a piece of shit. But I’m just leveling the playing field

 

[Demondosage]

It’s all abt doing what you wanna do regardless. I’ve been married around 17 years now and if I wanted to go to the 24 hr gym at midnight I would go. I left my house at 7pm one night recently to drive 8 hrs round trip by myself to buy something I saw on marketplace, didn’t feel guilty or really give 2 shits. I got home close to 3am. No questions asked abt where I was either. I told her what I was doing and she knows if I’m set on something then I’m gonna do it regardless. But I didn’t just start acting that way, it was since day 1. Let me let you in on a little secret too….deep down they respect you more when you do this kind of shit!! You don’t have to treat them badly to get respect, you don’t have to play games either. Just do WTF you want and let them join along for the ride. That’s how I’ve always looked at it and it works. Also, do yourself a favor and get a chick that is submissive by nature. It doesn’t work with a bitch that thinks she wears the pants in the house

 

[Ryu82]

Move on, focus on you. Let her see what she lost for some little taco salad cock.

Shit happens and your young man. Get after it.

Worst case it sounds like @Ferret is interested in being your rebound.

 

[DannZ]

Lol welcome to the 2020s. You can be on whatever test dose and whatever bodyfat percent you want, but a girl with a thin body will have 100x more power than you when it comes to dating…due to dating apps and social media. Men are just hopeless slaves now, no way around it

just try not to get married is one step you can take toward ending slavery. Even my current girl has some baggage with regard to her sexual past, but I’m able to tolerate in the context of our relationship that’s likely to end 2y from now for a variety of reasons

 

[DannZ]

I kinda did the same shit. As far as being too nice.

Now I’ve thrown a whole ass fit for 4 days around her and her kid acting annoyed as fuck by the kid.

she’s paying her mom $100 to watch the kid a night early because i was annoyed with it.

meanwhile that $200 ring she wanted for her birthday 3 months ago had her hating my guts.

it’s funny how the more mad they are on the surface the more they put out.

the more you make them feel good and full of attention the less they put out.

the power dynamic between me and her has flip flopped numerous times now

pretty much every chick I ever dated said I looked like an ass hole or a douchebag. And when they found out I wasn’t they went bye bye

maybe I’ve become a piece of shit. But I’m just leveling the playing field

Every girl I dated said I was really sweet and nice, but I also know how to be suave and not shower with attention so early on. Anyone buying into the whole niceguy bad boy dichotomy is low key laughable tbh. I’d refuse to get with any bitch that absolutely needed an “alpha male” “bad boy” and wouldn’t let me be a soft guy

 

[Chieftain]

It’s all abt doing what you wanna do regardless. I’ve been married around 17 years now and if I wanted to go to the 24 hr gym at midnight I would go. I left my house at 7pm one night recently to drive 8 hrs round trip by myself to buy something I saw on marketplace, didn’t feel guilty or really give 2 shits. I got home close to 3am. No questions asked abt where I was either. I told her what I was doing and she knows if I’m set on something then I’m gonna do it regardless. But I didn’t just start acting that way, it was since day 1. Let me let you in on a little secret too….deep down they respect you more when you do this kind of shit!! You don’t have to treat them badly to get respect, you don’t have to play games either. Just do WTF you want and let them join along for the ride. That’s how I’ve always looked at it and it works. Also, do yourself a favor and get a chick that is submissive by nature. It doesn’t work with a bitch that thinks she wears the pants in the house

That's right, everything is said, we must be who we are. And to grow old relationships in the same way, honest and open without games and falsehood. So that it doesn't turn out later that it was a mask and a game. At such moments, disappointment comes.
I like your position, respect

 

[Jestopherson]

This doesn't fall on you at all man. Can almost guarentee you she'll come running back to you, the best thing you can do is continue to live your life the best you can and don't be afraid to show it. And tell her to fuck off when she does.

When I was 21 or so I had a bad feeling about the gf while I was at work. Paid a surprise visit one day when I got off early. Let myself In to find a guy lying in her bed. Thought my world was over and I'd never recover. As I'm sure you feel the same. Take joy in the fact that you know now who the loser and reacher in your relationship was. This ex of mine is now a single mom and last I heard still flipping pizzas while living at home. I went on to get a damn good job and bought my dream truck. Now with the coolest chick I've ever met. It's a bell curve, you're on the down swing right now my dude, coming from a guy who's also battled depression his whole life, you'll be on the upswing soon enough.

Go on your trip. Bring a buddy with you or some random chick. Don't let the tickets go to waste. Keeping getting huge and making that bank. Keep building you and the right chick will find her way to you.

 

[MisterSuperGod]

little background about me. I’m 23. Graduated college last year. Work my balls off. Make fantastic money. Just bought my dream car. Really genuine and good guy. I wake up go to work and come home and saw my girlfriend and went to the gym. Went on dates. Got her nice things. She’s still in college so not a lot of money considering what I do she lives a pretty awesome life for being in college. I’m making 100k+ right now so we live a pretty fucking good life considering our age and situation. I’m going back to school for my nurse anesthetist license here in a year or so. I’m not some fuck around loser. I’m successful and strive to be better and a solid man.

She ends up fucking some 21 year old ghetto fuck college kid. I worked my ass off for the last 3 years for this girl. I really did love her and cared for her. I never thought I’d want a family and kids but she changed that in me. I really enjoyed every moment. I was just happy.

I bought a absolutely gorgeous rose gold 2.5 karat diamond ring and plane tickets to Hawaii with helicopter rides and everything for New Years as a congrats for graduating.

our relationship wasn’t perfect. But we were happy and best friends. We did everything together. But I don’t understand how the fuck you can Throw away years of your life with someone who was supporting you through EVERYTHING.

I’m genuinely so mad at the world. Everything I have been working towards this last year was just thrown in my face and I feel like a dumb fuck. I can’t focus on anything and don’t give a fuck about anything. I’ve suffered from depression my entire life and she helped me alot through it all. Even when I had no direction. I just don’t understand. I’m not sure what to do. Everything I’ve been doing I just hate now. No focus what so ever…

Confucius say: In everyone's life, many shits must happen. She made her choice now she has to live with it. Send her packing. Choices have consequences.

It doesn't make it hurt any less, but one day she will realize that she threw away a good thing and as someone who must take the high road on this one, you'll be living well. Most likely you'll be doing so with someone better who doesn't lack self control and doesn't fold when temptation comes their way.

 

[theotherguy]

When I was younger, I got walked on by a lot of women (girls). I got cheated on by pretty much all of them, in some form or fashion.

@Demondosage nailed it. You're too nice. I learned this the hard way as well. I used to simp hard over any woman that showed me a little bit of attention, and it never got me anything but hurt.

This is not to say you need to be a total dick to all women you meet, but no woman respects a man she can walk all over, and eventually she will hurt you. Like I said, this all comes from experience. For the record I'm not some jaded "red pilled" dude either. That is the opposite end of the spectrum from where you are now. I am talking about being somewhere in the middle, being respectful to women, but certainly being the man and not letting them walk all over you.

I have been happily married for 7 years (been together for 10), and even now I still have to be intentionally assertive and dominant in my relationship from time to time.

As for advice in your current situation, this chick has got to go. I know it is easier said than done, but you'll never be able to trust her again, and that in itself will cause even more issues.

EDIT: every woman I have ever talked to wants a man stronger than they are, even the women that I know in strongman, that are jacked as fuck and strong, still want an even stronger man (not necessarily physically stronger). None of them respect a man that isn't strong in his convictions and capable as a man.