Translation:
Here’s a clear English translation of what you wrote:
"Hey everyone, I've been out of sight working hard, but progress has been super slow — like waiting in line at the DMV on a Monday. Half of the crew is still missing, and we have to pay off a lot of people before we can get back to business. I'm also under pressure because of those steroid charges, you know? I'm saving every dollar I can to quietly make all this go away, because the police are sniffing around like bloodhounds. Once we sort this mess out, we'll come back like we never left. Much respect to the originals who are still holding onto unsent packages — no lie. I'm not here to complain, just telling it like it is. Stay out of trouble."